Recovery
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Will tries to recover from an attack. This story is a sequel of sorts to ‘Cold Fear’. Will is sixteen.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Recovery

Rating: PG

Author: Obi the Kid

Summary: Will tries to recover from an attack. This story is a sequel of sorts to 'Cold Fear'. Will is sixteen.

Disclaimer: These characters and their world belong to John Flanagan. I in no way claim to own them. I'm only playing in the fandom for a short time and appreciate the world and characters that Mr. Flanagan has created with his book series "Ranger's Apprentice."

NOTES: This makes my longest Ranger's Apprentice fic so far. I'm still discovering more about the characters as a read (and re-read) the books. I think I've managed to keep them mostly 'in-character'. Often it's easy to stray away from what a character is in a book, to add one's own influence. I've tried to limit that. I struggled with Halt in this story. Trying to keep him close to what we already know, while also working him into a story that has a bit more angst and comfort in it, and guessing how he might react in a situation such at that. I hope I did a decent job.

Thanks to all for the reviews of my previous stories. Thanks for taking the time to read my work. I really do appreciate it.


	2. Chapter 2

Cold.

Nothing else registered in the wounded mind. Nothing else mattered. From his toes to his ears, the young body shook violently. Ripped of its clothes. Ripped of its dignity. Ripped of everything except that one thing. Cold.

A brief moment of garbled consciousness was all the cold permitted before he slipped back into his terrified oblivion.

~*~

"He should have returned long ago, Crowley. It was a simple mission to retrieve several of Baron Arald's horses that had escaped during a stable fire. Will wouldn't go off his own for no reason. Not when he knew his mission. Something's happened. Something's wrong." Halt walked towards Abelard, readying his saddle. He would wait no longer for the return of his apprentice. While still a boy at sixteen, Will's sense of adventure would never have overruled his training. He'd been instructed on this first and simple solo outing, to ride out towards the northern border of Redmont fief, retrieve the horses spotted in that area, and bring them home immediately. Halt knew his student. Never would he have strayed from that mission unless something had happened to himself or to Tug, his faithful pony. The elder Ranger addressed his commandant once again.

"Crowley, I need to find him. Something is wrong. I feel it." Halt pleaded with his long time friend, though he knew permission or not, he'd be off after Will before the sun fell.

"Gilan will be here shortly. At least wait for him. The three of us will ride together."

"Gilan? Why would he be on his way to Redmont?" Halt was surprised at the mention of his former apprentice, now a well respected young Ranger in his own right.

Crowley smiled sadly. "When Will didn't return last night as scheduled, I sent for Gilan. I knew you'd be off on the hunt to find him, and I wanted to make sure you had help. And someone that Will could trust, if needed."

Halt blinked slowly and nodded grimly. "Thank you, old friend."

Crowley hesitated before bringing up this next part. "There is one other thing, Halt. There have been reports of Kayzar across the border, roaming. Three people have been attacked within the last few months. Although it's well north of where Will would have picked up the horses."

At the mention of the Kayzar, Halt found himself releasing a heavy breath. A year ago, he and Will had had a run in with a Kayzar during a tracking mission. At the time, they had no idea what the creature was or what it was capable of. They quickly discovered that it had the haunting ability to induce terrifying fear into the mind of its victim, essentially raping the mind of all thoughts, except fear. The creature had gotten into Will's mind, but before it did any severe damage Halt had managed to escape its physical hold and shoot the beast dead with a succession of well placed arrows. To find out now that there were more of these things and that there was the possibility that Will may have crossed one's path again - the thought chilled Halt to the bone.

"I should have gone with him."

Crowley lifted his head slightly – a galloping horse approached in the distance. "Gilan is here. Let's go find your apprentice."

Both Rangers mounted their horses and took off to intersect Gilan. Once they met up with him, it was an all out ride for Redmont's northern most border.

~*~

Numb.

The cold had been replaced by a numbness that encompassed his entire being. It was a feeling of nothingness. Physically, they inflicted only a few deep claw marks, but mentally, they stripped him of everything. And left him as he was now.

Numb.

There was something beside him. Something warm. He couldn't open his eyes to see, and he assumed the worst - that those which had caused the terrifying fear and numbness were still very much near.

~*~

The three Ranger search party stopped only after it became too dark for safe travel. The rocks in the area were problematic for the horses and they would not risk injury to their animals. Abelard and the others would be needed if Will had been hurt. They set up camp in a tight circle, trying to keep warm. The night was bitter and the rain just enough to cause a damp chill that both man and horse despised.

At first light they were moving again. Morning hours endless, until the sun finally ascended to its afternoon peak. The warm rays were welcome as the air continued grasping its chill.

Gilan had gone ahead to check along the steep shores of the nearby river. Halt and Crowley forked off left and right to cover the flank. No ground was to be untouched until they found Will. And with each passing hour, Halt's worry grew.

~*~

He felt a warm presence pressing against his shoulder. If he could only make his eyes open to see what it was. Friend or foe, he couldn't tell. Not that it mattered much as he was in no condition to resist another mind attack. At least he'd regained a bit of his senses back. What had attacked him he couldn't remember. Why it had attacked him, he didn't know. But the type of attack was familiar. He'd felt it before, or at least he'd felt a less powerful version of it.

Grunting as he tried to move into a more comfortable position, the large warm object beside him protested and snorted. This creature was far different than those that had attacked him. Something inside of his frazzled mind knew that there was nothing to fear from its close proximity. This one, unlike the others, was friend.

A twitching in his mind sent waves of pain through his pounding head. The waves traveled into his naked arms and legs. He scratched at them. Rubbed at them. Anything to make the feeling go away. The mind attacks began rolling over and over in his subconscious, despite his best efforts to push them away. The pain in his arms and legs worsened and he continued to scratch until the skin was raw. It did nothing though to make the horrific images disappear.

The intense fear came again.

The numbness soon followed.

There had to be a way to end this nightmarish existence.

Laying his head back against the warm creature nearby, he began wishing for complete freedom from this terrifying mental torture.

~*~

Gilan urged Blaze forward. The shaggy horse walked carefully, head high. Alert for anything. Then a sudden stop and he planted his front hooves in the soft forest soil. "You sense something, Blaze?"

The horse shook snorted before lowering his head to the ground. His young master encouraged him. "Go on, boy. Follow what you sense." Blaze moved forward, quickening his pace to a trot, then a jog. Throwing his head around as he slowed again, he came to another quick stop then stood almost motionless - staring at the riverbank.

Following the pony's gaze, Gilan searched the shoreline until he saw what his four-legged friend saw. Two forms lying next to each other. One human. One equine. "Oh, no, no, no, no. Halt! Crowley! Over here at the river!" His voice carried, but he wasn't sure how far. Blaze felt the urgency and let loose a wailing whinny, one that would get the other Ranger's attention for certain.

He dismounted, not knowing if Will or Tug were conscious, and wanting to do everything in his power not to startle or scare them as he approached. There was no other presence in the area that he could feel, but he drew his bow and nocked an arrow just in case. As he got closer, he could see better the condition of the pair. Both were covered in dirt and blood. Both shook with cold. Both had been stripped. Tug of his saddle and bridle. Will of clothes and weapons. To the boy's right, partially buried in the mud of the riverbank lay the shredded remains of the small Ranger cloak that he'd worn so proudly for the last year.

At least, Gilan thought, they were both breathing.

Blaze had taken the initiative and trotted a few paces ahead of his master. He reached his fellow Ranger pony and dropped his head to nudge him. Tug responded with a snort and slowly raised his head off the ground. Blaze encouraged his friend, but Tug began shaking his large head back and forth, either in aggravation or confusion, Gilan couldn't tell. It wasn't typical Ranger pony behavior he noted as he knelt next to Will. Without warning, Tug tried to push him away. A fear reaction? Or was he trying to protect Will? Again, it was difficult to tell. But Tug's eyes were clouded, his breathing labored. Whatever had affected Will, must also have affected the horse.

Another voice startled Gilan's attention away from the horse. Halt and Crowley had caught up with them and were hurrying over. Abelard, like Blaze, was quickly at Tug's side, while the Rangers found Will. Halt was about to place a hand on the boy's bare back, but stopped inches from touching the skin, realizing that he had no idea how Will might react to the touch. He hesitated a moment. Finally he gave in and put a careful hand on Will's shoulder, prepared for a reaction and getting none. Nothing at all. Not a moan of pain. Not a sigh of relief. Not a whimper of fear. Just silence. The body was tense though. Curled into itself in an attempted fetal position. Tracks on the slanted riverbank indicated that he'd slid down the bank. Perhaps that was where Tug found him and rested against him to protect and keep his master warm.

Halt moved his hand onto the boy's back, rubbing in soft, gentle circles. "He's freezing. And his entire body is knotted with tension."

Crowley pointed out the abrasions on Will's naked arms and legs. Red, inflamed areas where the skin had been broken and almost scratched off. "Someone…or something put him through hell. So far this appears very Kayzar-like. Maybe more than one of them if it was able to control Tug as well. He's out of sorts." The commandant stood and clicked for his horse. "I'll ride ahead. Bring him back to your cottage, Halt. I'll alert the Baron's best healer, Casler, and meet you there. I think the cottage will be a better place than the castle infirmary. More private. If this is a Kayzar attack – which it appears to be - his mind will be a complete mess," Crowley finished with disgust. Any creature that would attack a young mind as these monsters did…"

He rushed off through the trees. Gilan reached into Blaze's saddle bag for a blanket. It was small, but would have to do. Halt shook his head. "No." Then he shed his cloak and draped it over his apprentice. "We need to start home but we have to get Tug moving." Gilan nodded and turned his attention to the horse as Halt crouched around to kneel in front of Will.

A response was never anticipated, and none was received. But that didn't stop Halt from talking to Will and encouraging him. The whispers were hushed. "Will, it's Halt. You're safe now." He reached up and pushed the dark brown hair away from the tightly closed eyes. "We're going home. Tug is here. He's safe too. Gilan and I will get you and Tug home. You need to trust me, Will. Please." The last part came out in a desperate, almost broken voice that Halt hadn't recalled using in ages. Sick with worry. Angry that Will had suffered this alone. Desperate to care for the boy and make him well again. Halt carefully slid the irritated arms into the cloak, so that the wounded body would have some comfort and dignity on the ride home. The cloak was a bit oversized, but that worked just fine, as it provided more cover and warmth than a small blanket.

When he got Will situated in the cloak, he slowly put an arm under his shoulders and under his knees, lifting him and traveling the few feet up the river bank. It was disturbing to see that the only response from Will was him trying to curl back into a fetal position in Halt's arms.

Abelard, with the help of Gilan and Blaze had succeeded in getting Tug on his feet and vertical. Shaky and uncertain, but able to move. He still shook his head and snorted uncomfortably, though when he saw Will going away from him, he shoved his nose forward and plodded to his side.

"Easy, Tug." Gilan soothed. "You remember us. We're old friends. We'll take care of him, I promise. You did real good, boy, looking after him like that. Even though I think those damn beasts got their minds on you as well. We'll be okay. You follow Abelard and Blaze now."

~*~

He felt himself moving. The feeling made him nauseas. Whatever was moving him was taken by surprise by his sudden roll to the side. His legs swung free as the unsettled stomach heaved and a coughing fit began. A quiet voice nearby, he thought maybe it was talking to him, but the words made no sense. The numbness and cold still present. The fear still claimed his mind. But ever so slowly he returned to some form of consciousness.

The movement began again. Then his legs fell straight down. Something or someone was holding him upright, preventing him from falling onto his knees. The vertical position though brought back another bout of nausea, and he pushed away from the hold and fell to the ground. Once again heaving and coughing for several minutes.

Hands touched his face. Rough and calloused. They held his face on either side. The voice began again. This time there was something familiar about it. And the words gradually began to make sense. The voice told him to open his eyes. It told him that he was safe. It told him that they were going home.

If only he could believe what the voice was telling him.

He tried to open his eyes.

~*~

Halt knelt in front of his apprentice, holding his face in his hands. "Will, open your eyes now. Just for a moment. We're going home. I need you to open your eyes. We need to ride, you'll have to ride with me on Abelard. Open your eyes."

~*~

The first thing he saw was blinding white light, and immediately closed his eyes again. The voice continued to encourage him. A second try and the white light dimmed as daylight filtered in. It was struggle, but he fought to keep from closing them again. His head bobbed back and forth as he put all his energy into trying to focus on the figure in front of him. The figure that was connected to the voice that had become such a comforting force. He knew that figure. That man. He just didn't know how or why he knew him.

~*~

"That's it, Will. That's good. Keeping looking at me. I know this is confusing, but it'll come back to you." Halt motioned to Gilan to come and stand behind so that Will could see another familiar face. Gilan did so, and put on a friendly smile for the boy, even though smiling was the last thing on his mind. "That's Gilan. You remember him. He's looking after Tug for you. He'll make sure that Tug gets home. So, there's no need to worry about Tug. He did a great job in protecting you, but now he needs care of his own. Gilan and Blaze will be with him. You'll ride with me and Abelard. You remember Abelard. He'll make the ride home as smooth as possible."

He watched the boy's face so filled with concentration. Trying desperately to remember and see through the frightening images in his mind. Trying desperately to trust what was in front of him. The dry, cracked lips moved. Words were there, though there was no voice with them. Gilan passed a flagon of water to Halt. Will watched the exchange and blinked at Gilan. He felt no threat from that man either. The water flagon was pressed to his lips allowing small sips until he pushed it away.

As surprised as he was to see his hand move, the man near him was even more surprised, and he raised an eyebrow. That simple gesture made something click in Will's mind and now he could put a name with the face before him. Lips moving again, he muttered out a weak "Halt" and the side of his mouth twitched slightly as if wanting to smile.

Halt grinned sadly. "Yes, Will." He held Will's face in his hands again and rubbed his thumbs under the boy's eyes when the young tears began. "I'm here. We'll get through this. I promise."

A slight push from behind and Tug lowered his nose to Will's face. The pony's eyes still weren't right. And he was unsteady, even with all four legs planted. Yet he was determined and always looking out for his devoted master.

Will tried again to smile as he recognized the small white snip on the gray pony's muzzle. A frail hand he reached up and grabbed Tug's mane, and suddenly felt the need to stand. Halt reached for him. Then Will's grasp on Tug's mane as the horse lifted its head, was quickly lost.

Halt held the boy helpless in his arms. "Easy, Will. Go slow."

More words were attempted as Halt lifted the small body and took him to Abelard's side. Will realized what was happening and weakly tried to protest. "Tug…ride Tug."

"You need to ride with me on Abelard. You're too weak to ride alone. Gilan will ride next to us with Tug."

The only reply from the wounded apprentice was a grunted "umm huh" and he surrendered his request.

"Gil, let me get situated and then you lift him up to the saddle. I'll put him in front of me so I can keep him balanced."

Gilan held Will steady and upright while Halt pulled himself onto his mount and made a spot for his student. Thankfully the Ranger saddles were designed to be relatively comfortable, no matter where you sat on them. The last thing he wanted was to cause more pain and anguish to Will on the long ride home. Recovery, once they got there, would be painful enough. He reached to his left and pulled Will from Gilan's grasp. With the other Ranger's tall frame, it was an easy transfer.

Once on the horse, Halt and Gilan adjusted the robe Will was wearing - Halt's robe - so that it would cover most of his body and would offer as much warmth and dignity as possible. He groaned in discomfort as Halt moved him back slightly to lean against him. Will's tired eyes watched one hand wrap around his chest and the other take the reins. When they began moving forward, he tried to resist the hold, but it was relentless, and eventually began to comfort him. Not long after, he took both his smaller hands and grasped the larger one, leaning back slightly onto Halt's chest. Abelard's gait was hypnotizing. Before long it lured him to sleep. His head lulled to the side and Halt tightened his hold.

Beside them, Gilan had gotten Tug moving after a slow beginning. "Didn't take long for him to conk out on you. What the hell did those things do to him?"

Halt kept his eyes on the path in front as he spoke. "They raped his mind. From what I've learned of these creatures since we came across that one last year, they strip the mind of everything and replace it with horrifying images and thoughts. That's how they draw power. They don't touch the body, other than to keep it still for their mind attacks. Their claws are intense though, which explains the deep gashes they both have."

"But why remove his clothing and Tug's tack?"

"My guess is that it helps to eliminate any connection that the victim has to its life. Leaves nothing to hang on to and leaves them completely vulnerable to the assault." He glanced over at Tug, who plugged along in a lethargic gait. So different than the strong willed pony that he'd come to appreciate since Will had been taken as his master. "I had no idea they would go after a horse though. I suppose it makes sense. It's just another animal to them. Another mind to rip into. When we get home, I want you to take Tug to Redmont castle. Find a stable boy named Seran. He looked after Blaze when you were hurt last year. Blaze evidently took to him and the boy was very good with him. I think we can trust Tug to his care while he recovers. I don't know what type of reaction we'll get from either Will or Tug, but it's probably safe to say that Will's recovery will be a bit more problematic."

The young Ranger nodded and reached down to pat Blaze on the neck. "I was so happy to know that Blaze had been well cared for. I know Will is going to feel the same about Tug. He'll worry about him though, which I'm sure will counter his own recovery."

The conversation continued as they made for home. Will would wake into moments of complete confusion. Several times he'd almost climbed from Halt's grasp. Gilan had been close by each time to help keep him secure in the saddle. Other times Will would mutter about nothing in particular, prattling until his throat ran dry. He accepted more water rations from Halt, which seemed to fuel more of the disconnected rambling.

At one point he began worrying about what was to come. He remembered he was going home and he remembered that he had friends there. Friends that he didn't want to see while he was like this. Trying to convey that to Halt, he stumbled on the words. "Friends…Halt…don't tell them. I can't…they…get better first. Then see…'kay?"

The elder Ranger deciphered the words and their meaning well enough. He knew Will's pride when it came to the tight knit group of friends he'd grown up with. "They'll understand that you need time away from them. They're good friends. If I ask them not to push, they won't. It'll be all right."

~*~

Riding through the night, they stopped only to water the horses and to check on their patients. Tug seemed to know that it was best to just stay between Blaze and Abelard. They provided safety. And they kept him close to Will. Abelard's steps could not have been more gentle. Every reach had meaning behind it. Every hoof set in just the right place on the forest floor to avoid any stick or rock in his path.

Finally the cottage was in sight. Even Will seemed to sense that a small part of his nightmare was over upon seeing his home again. His head leaned to the side, still against Halt's chest. "Home."

"Home," Halt repeated back. "We'll get you comfortable. You'll be doing a lot of resting."

Will didn't protest. Right now rest was all he wanted to do. Upon reaching the cottage though, he saw two strange faces. Slightly familiar, but strangers to his weary battered mind. Halt felt the slight push as Will tried to move backwards in the saddle. Fear was staking it's claim once again. "Will, it's all right. That's Crowley. You know him. And Healer Casler. You were probably treated by him when you were younger and growing up in the castle."

The tension didn't relent though and Halt signaled for Crowley and Casler to move away from the cottage to a safe distance where Will didn't feel threatened. None of them really knew what was going on in his head. The small moments of clarity were followed by twice as many moments of utter confusion and helplessness. It was best to play it safe.

Gilan dismounted first and left Tug in Blaze's care, then reached up to help Will down from Abelard's saddle. Halt noticed the dampness on the backside of the cloak that the boy wore. "Will, you're wet."

Held upright by Gilan, Will shamefully looked down, trying desperately to keep the tears in. He understood what had happened and it seemed he had little control over anything right now, even basic bodily functions. "M'sorry, Halt. I didn't know. I couldn't feel that I had to go…and then it happened."

Halt tried to ease the embarrassment. "Not to worry. My cloak was due for a solid cleaning anyway. I don't think I've washed it since Gilan was my apprentice."

The attempt to lighten the mood failed and Will's legs buckled. He was caught on either side by his companions, and they inched towards the cottage door. "Gilan, there's a robe on my bedroom door. Soft enough. Let's get him into something dry."

They swapped out the wet cloak for the dry robe. The warmth of the cottage fire hit Will's face. "Sit him on the chair there. Once Casler sees him, I'll get him into a warm bath and clean him up. Can you see to Tug?"

A nod and Gilan was ready to go. "I'll make sure he's settled before I leave him. I may leave Blaze with him at the stables if it helps relax him."

The young Ranger hurried out and motioned for Crowley and Casler to go in. They entered the living area slowly. Halt was trying to comfort Will with calming words to let him know that the two new faces were of no threat. Either Will was too exhausted to protest again, or his rattled mind began remembering them – he offered no protest to their nearby presence. He tensed up dramatically though when Casler began a physical exam, checking for broken and bruised bones, seeing to the puncture wounds left by the beast's sharp claws. Anything that might cause complications. On the outside, the main area of concern was the irritated skin on his arms, legs and neck. Several of the areas were infected and needed immediate treatment. Will sat eerily still as the experienced healer pressed a thick ointment into the wounds then wiped it out as he attempted to remove as much of the dirt from the gashes as he could. If there was any pain, he was showing no outward sign.

"Halt, keep this handy. Those areas should be treated three times a day. I'll stop by later with some herbal soap for infection. Wash, treat and wrap the worst of the areas. Especially the ones on his arms. The legs and neck I'm not overly concerned about. But do what you can do keep him from scratching . The ointment can help the itching, but if it's all in his mind, it may not help much."

The man nodded. "Is it all right to bathe him? The mud and dirt and blood…and…I think it can only help."

"Agreed. Carefully though. Don't scrub the infected areas too hard. Those are raw and I suspect very painful, even if he's not showing that pain. It's there. You want help with him?"

"No, we're okay. Gilan will be back soon."

"Very well. You send for me if you need anything else. I'll be back in two days to check on him. Don't be afraid to get him up and moving too. He'll want to sleep, but getting him back into everyday routines may help. Even if it's just having him watch you string a bow or chop firewood. Anything simple. And keep things calm. Victims of mental attacks tend to respond negatively to angry reactions and easily pick up frustrations, then feed from and react to that. Mental stability is a much more difficult recovery than most physical ailments. Do what you can with what you have. Take care of him, Halt."

Crowley came to Halt's side as the healer left. "I can give you an idea of what's happened to his mind. I was able to get information about the other victims. One has still not recovered. The other two are still working their way back. It's about constant and intense fear and confusion. It overwhelms their lives, sometimes taking even the simplest task and making it a life and death drama…in their own mind. If you push too hard, it only causes harm. But if you don't push at all, the fear consumes them anyway. It's a balance that you'll have to find. You know Will. You know what he's capable of. You know his strength. All that will be tested now and he may not be the same person for a long time. You have to be ready to accept that and do what you think is best for him."

Halt's head popped up. There was deeper meaning in his friend's words than were on the surface. "I won't give up on him Crowley. He is my apprentice. I made a vow to his father that I would keep him safe. Will is…my family now. I will not desert him when he needs me." The tone in the man's voice was as determined as Crowley had ever heard it, and he'd known Halt almost all his life. Few master-apprentice bonds ran as deep as that of Halt and Will's. Crowley saw that from the beginning. He knew they would need every tendril of that bond to get through this nightmare.

"I know you won't, Halt. And I didn't expect you would. But to help you, I'm temporarily assigning Gilan to Redmond fief. Not only can he keep an eye on things while you are concerned with Will, but he can also help when needed and give you a respite every now and then. And don't argue with me. You know you never win our arguments. Decision made."

Standing to his commandant, Halt placed a hand on Crowley's shoulder and whispered, "Thank you, old friend."

The Ranger smiled. "Just…take care of him, Halt."

"I will."

Crowley left without another word, leaving Halt alone with his apprentice, now asleep in the chair, head lulled to the side. His breathing heavy, but strong. Halt left his side for a few moments to brew a pot of coffee and mentally try to prepare for what lie ahead.

~*~

He felt trapped. Mind swirling in fear, he looked for an escape from the shadows bringing wave after wave of terror. Trying desperately to grasp on to the familiarity that he'd just felt, but it was so fleeting. Faces that he knew, but names that wouldn't come. He was back on the river bank, naked and terrified. There was another with him. Not human, but was it guarding him? It was warm and reassuring. Then another presence was there, holding him in its arms. Then other faces flashed through his mind, those of the monsters responsible for the nightmare he was living. The evil intelligent eyes that stared into him, through him, and encompassed his entire being. Tendrils of malice shadowed those eyes and now lived within him.

A presence returned. Known. Welcomed. But his vision of that presence blurred in the more powerful presence of the forces holding hostage to his mind.

~*~

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Gilan had returned riding one of the Baron's horses. He'd left Blaze with Tug after finding Seran and having him assigned to the task of caring for the Ranger ponies. The boy gladly accepted, proud that he would have been called on again to do something that he considered so honorable. He promised to not let the Rangers down.

The young man entered the cottage to find Halt sitting at the small table next to the cot where Will was sleeping. "How is he?"

"Quiet, thankfully. I got him situated on a cot rather than the chair so he can sleep easier. He's been in and out. Asking about Tug. Asking about you. About anything. Some makes perfect sense. Most is just a muddled mess. I can't begin to guess where his mind will be one minute to the next. How's Tug? That didn't sound like Blaze that you rode back on."

"No, I left Blaze there. Tug is very unsteady and uncertain. Much like Will. I thought it best to give him something familiar. I borrowed a horse. Found Seran. He's not planning on leaving Tug's side if at all possible."

"Will told me before that he seemed to know his stuff about horses, and they seemed to trust him. I can't think of any other way to make sure that Tug gets the attention he needs, while still allowing for Will. Hopefully Tug will forgive us for deserting him right now."

"He'll be okay," Gilan said in not the most confident of voices. "Crowely told me about my temporary reassignment. I'll see about being put up in a castle apartment while I'm here."

Halt shook his head. "No, you won't. Take Will's room. It used to be yours anyway. I plan on keeping him out here. It's warm by the fire. Closer to the washroom. Just easier to keep an eye on him. After I get him bathed, I'll fix up the cot so it's more comfortable long term. I'd better put an extra sheet down too, in case of anymore accidents."

Both men turned their heads to the cot. Will's head was lolling back and forth until his eyes slid open. Halt was quick to his side.

"Remember me?"

"Halt."

"Good. That's a good sign. How are you feeling?"

"Where's Tug?"

Halt sighed. It had been the standard question asked each time the boy had come around. He couldn't seem to remember that they'd spoken about this several times previous. "Redmont stables. Remember I told you that before."

"No," Will shook his head slowly, fear shaking his voice. "Don't remember. He's hurt. They hurt him."

"Seran is taking care of him. And Blaze is there to keep him company. He'll be all right. We'll go see him soon enough."

"'kay."

"Can you sit up? You need a bath. I've got water warming over the coals outside the washroom."

The reply was a helpless nod as he began to move his legs off the side of the cot. The effort was feeble, but it was all he could give. Halt eased him up by the shoulders and sat him still for a moment. The helplessness and sadness in the boy's eyes was enough to break even the strongest man, and when he fell forward, leaning heavily on his mentor, Halt had to catch check of his own emotions before going any further. When he finally got Will up, Gilan noted that the cot was wet. After a moment of thought, he came up with an idea that might be of help.

"Halt, I'll ride back to the castle and talk to Lady Pauline. I know they use something on beds in the castle for infants to keep the linens dry. In his state of mind, this might be a reoccurring problem."

"See if she can put her hands on some softer clothes. The sores on his arms and legs might fare better with a not so harsh texture rubbing on them"

"Got it."

"Oh, and Gilan," Halt said before the man could get out the door. "Be discreet. I don't think Will wants his friends to know exactly what's going on. At least until he's a bit more…himself." The young Ranger nodded in understanding and hurried from the cottage.

Halt turned his full attention to Will once more and half way carried him into the washroom. It didn't take long to get him situated in the small cast iron tub, and surrounded with warm water. The cottage hadn't had one of these when he spent his days here as an apprentice. But age and injuries caught up with him eventually and he began to appreciate the feel of a warm bath. After his years with Gilan, he'd expanded the home slightly to include a larger washroom with a tub to assist in the healing of any wounds and general aches and pains. It would certainly come in handy right now.

As gently as he could, Halt washed his apprentice from head to toe. The dirt and blood were caked into the corners of his eyes and ears and everywhere else. The sensitive areas on his arms, legs and neck were worked around with a softer cloth, and Halt was successful in getting them free of the grime. "That should help with the infection," he said, more to himself than anyone. Will was in his own world right now. Head bobbing up and down and mumbling about various things that seemed to make little sense. It gave the distraction needed for Halt to run soap through Will's hair and over his face. The whole process took an hour and the result was, if not a less muddled mind, at least a cleaner body to go with it.

He stood outside the tub as a large warm towel was draped around him. It covered his slight frame almost to his ankles. Despite the towel he still shook with cold as Halt escorted him back to the living area and into a large supple chair. He recognized it as Halt's favorite chair. One he rarely had the fortune of sitting in, because of its extreme comfort and his mentor's unwillingness to concede that particular comfort to his student.

He glanced at Halt and tried to smile. "Soft."

Halt released a short laugh. "Don't get used to it. You know how that chair and I feel about each other." He took a small towel and did the best he could to dry Will's slightly shaggy hair, then said, "Stay here for a minute. Let me change the cot over so it's dry."

The cot was easy enough to clean up. The wetness hadn't soaked through the blanket, so only the blanket had to be tossed. "I need to treat your wounds again. Several times a day, and always after a bath." The ointment was within reach. Halt carefully began the process. Will stared at him with empty eyes. Eyes that used to be so full of life and questions. It pained the elder Ranger to see him like this. This boy had become almost like a son to him…and to watch him suffer…

He shook his head to refocus. " Will, hold your neck up. You've almost scratched that area rather raw since we got home."

Will did as instructed, but asked that persistent question that continued to obsessively occupy his tangled thoughts. The same question he'd asked tireless times since arriving back at the cottage. "Halt, where's Tug?"

Halt sighed, a little louder than intended. His reply also came out a bit harsher than intended. "At Redmont stables. Remember, I've told you that over ten times already. He's fine. You should try to remember, Will."

"But I want to see Tug," he said urgently, immediately forgetting what Halt had just told him. "He was with me and took care of me. I don't know where he is. Halt, please tell me what's happened to him! Why won't you tell me?" The small voice coming from the trembling cold body was frantic as Will pulled away from Halt's touch causing some of the ointment to spill onto the floor.

"Damn it! Will, you need to stay still while I do this!"

Sudden and unexpected tears hit the young eyes and he tried desperately to blink them away. He caught his breath in a sob at the harsh tone being shot back at him. "I'm sorry, Halt. I'm sorry. I can't remember…I'm sorry…" he finished with several more sobs before being drawn into a strong embrace. Halt's arms wrapped around him as he cried into his shoulder. "I just…Tug took care of me…I don't know what happened to him. I don't understand what's happening. I can't remember."

Halt silently berated himself for his words and his tone. His reaction had been frustration at the situation, not at Will. But the young man in his bewildered and terrified state had no way of understanding that. Tug had been his only connection to anything while the Kayzar had butchered both of their minds. Tug had been a piece of familiarity to cling to…a lifeline. Then suddenly, Tug was taken away. Halt hadn't realized that separating them might cause a trauma of this type. But it had to be done, as both needed different types of care and Will's was the more critical. He held the shaking, sobbing boy in his arms.

"No, Will. This is my mistake. I'm not angry with you. I'm angry at what happened to you. I don't enjoy seeing you like this. I'm sorry I had to take Tug away from you while you recover, but he needs a different kind of care. I don't understand how your mind is working right now. What it remembers, why it can't remember. I know Tug was your protector during this ordeal and you worry about him. I wish you could trust me when I tell you that he's safe and being well cared for. Gilan is checking on him often and Seran is taking care of him. You'll see him soon. I promise. I'll do my best to be more patient with this. It's not easy, I have to try and see things from your current point of view, which makes little sense to me. Tug is safe. I promise." He clasped one of the boy's shivering hands, rubbing warmth into the cold fingers.

Will seemed to calm after that, his mind floating elsewhere. Halt didn't know how much of what he said actually made any sense to Will, but at least he was calm. So when Gilan returned soon after, Halt had just finished treating and bandaging the infected areas. Gilan placed a nicely wrapped brown paper package on the nearby table. "From Lady Pauline. She said if you need anything else, or if you need a break, to let her know. And she will keep things quiet as far as Will's friends go. Tug is all right. Looks a bit brighter than he did earlier. Seran got him to lie down for a time. He seems to understand that the boy is there to help him. Seran also says that Blaze has helped as well in his own horse type way. Will should be relieved to know that."

"He will. He probably won't remember it if I tell him though." A questioning look from Gilan and Halt explained what had happened while he'd been out.

"Halt, if you need time away from him, you need to take it. We both know this recovery will take time. You've got myself and Pauline to lean on. If you can't do it alone, don't. He needs you. But he needs you healthy. You won't be good to him if you're worn down and frustrated."

"Not at him. This is not his fault."

"I didn't mean at him. Frustration at his situation and those monsters responsible for this. Don't make me get Healer Casler back here to knock you out with a hefty sedative." Gilan mocked a line that his mentor had used many years before on him, when Blaze had been severely wounded and a young Gilan had stayed up hours and days on end to care for him, exhausting himself almost to the point of severe sickness. Halt knew his words were being thrown back at him. He offered one of his rare smiles.

"I hear you. Thank you, Gilan."

"So, that package has the clothes you asked for, and here," he held up a cloth bundle, "are several sets of wet resistant linens for the cot."

"I'll put a set down before I get him settled for the night."

Gilan nodded. "Good. I'll see to Abelard and my borrowed horse, make sure they're bedded down. Then I think I'll turn in myself. You wake me if you need me."

"I will." Then to his half dozing apprentice he said "Okay, Will, let's try these very…well, overly soft, clothes on you." He ran his rough hand over the fabric and marveled at the feel, then muttered, "You'll be spoiled before too long wearing this stuff." Halt shed the large towel and hurriedly dressed the shivering body in the clothes. They were large on his slight frame, but they served their purpose and would hopefully help the constant feeling of cold.

Will touched the cloth as he was settled into a comfortable sleeping position. "Lady Pauline?"

The mind was clicking at the moment, which Halt was glad to see. "Naturally. How did you know?"

"You have a tunic made of this. You only wear it when you know you are going to see her." The young eyes smiled.

"I need to keep a better eye on you. You shouldn't be noticing things like that about your master and his routines. I'll have to change my habits, I see." Dark eyes smiled back. "I want you to sleep. I'll keep the fire going strong through the night. I'm hoping with the new clothes and the two blankets, that'll make the chills stop. And if you think you need to…go. Wake me up. But don't worry about any accidents. Things like this happen to even the best of us." He brushed a hand over the childlike face that continued to stare at him. "Gilan checked on Tug. He's doing better. Blaze is helping to take good care of him. Close your eyes."

A slight nod and eyes began to slide shut. Before they closed completely, Will called Halt back to him. "Thank you for telling me about Tug. I didn't know what happened to him. I didn't know if you found him or not. You didn't tell me before."

Halt pushed his frustration back and hushed the boy once more. "Rest, Will."

~*~

The cold returned. The evil returned. This time it returned with such force that he felt himself screaming, but heard no sound. His arms burned. His head pounded. The beasts were closing in on him again. He reached for his companion, the warm one that leaned on him and protected him. The shaggy animal had no name, no face. Just something there that offered the promise of safety, if only they could get away from the evil that assaulted his mind.

Something grabbed him. He curled into himself. There was no escape.

~*~

The screaming woke the cottage. Trained to respond in seconds from sleep, Halt and Gilan were awake and armed in less than that. When they saw no looming threat, the longbows rested and they went to Will. Nightmares. Nightmares or just another wave of confusion through his mind, Halt really didn't know. But he'd managed to scratch off the arm bandages and inflamed the infected wounds again, breaking open the healing parts and bringing fresh blood to the surface. He continued to scuff at the sores almost violently while his mind worked against him. Thrashing about, he and his bedding piled onto the floor before either Ranger could get control of the flailing body. Halt tried calling his name to no avail. There was no recognition, no acknowledgement.

"Just grab him and hold him," Gilan suggested as he tried to keep between Will and the fireplace to prevent him from accidently sticking a limb into the flames. Halt did his best to maintain a feeling of calmness, but it wasn't penetrating into Will's defenses. Eventually he knelt onto the floor behind Will, one hand locked on each wrist to stop the thrashing arms. Then, he pulled the boy back to him and held him as tightly as he could until he settled - an hour later.

As aggravated as Will had been, he was the complete opposite now. The dramatic change scared Halt more so than if he'd just stayed in one mood or the other. He didn't know what to do for him and thankfully Gilan's suggestion had worked. Will did respond to the forceful touch, almost like he had yearned for it so that he could find that peaceful place again.

The floor was warm enough sitting by the fire, so Halt stayed as he was, though dismayed by the damage his apprentice had done to the sores on his arms and neck. "Gilan, bring me the…" Gilan was already there holding up a hand to say 'I've got this.' He got the ointment and wrap from the table.

"You sit there with him. Keep him quiet. It's the only thing he seems to respond to right now. I'll clean the wounds." And he did. As Rangers, first aid was common place. They had to know how to treat themselves and others in a hurry. It was something taught to them at a young age, and was never forgotten. He got a cloth from the washroom and a small bucket of warm soapy water to wash the areas before treating them. Once all of that was done, he wrapped the arms, but left the neck area free of any bandage. "There, good as new."

"Until next time," Halt remarked doubtfully. "I don't know if it's a good thing that he fades in and out of reality, or not. Part of me thinks yes because it means he's trying to grasp onto his old life and seems to be fighting against the Kayzar imprint in his mind. But the other part of me says it's just causing him more confusion and pain to be thrown in and out of that reality with such force. He finds a tendril of himself, and then gets yanked away from it just as quickly. That can't be good for him." The aged face looked up at his former student with questioned filled eyes. He knew Gilan had no answers, but that wouldn't stop his friend from trying to comfort his old master.

As Gilan did, taking a seat next to the huddled pair. Halt was now leaning against the cot, legs out to either side, Will's back pulled to his chest, wrapped in his arms. "No, I don't think it's good for him to be tossed around like that, but at the same time, if his mind can still find some semblance of itself, maybe Will can grab it and hang on. One of these times he'll hang on long enough for it to really make a difference. Now that the actual assault on his mind is gone, at least the cause of the assault – the Kayzar – it's the remnants that he has to defeat. Those would fade in time, right?"

A shrug from Halt. Gilan had never seen him so unsure of anything in his life. Or so worried. "I don't know Gil. Logic would assume it would fade, but how long does that fade take? And how much damage does it do in the process? It's…frustrating."

"You want me to stay up for a while?"

"No reason for us both to be exhausted tomorrow. Besides you need to rest in case the fief needs a Ranger. He's comfortable. I'll keep him here for as long as I can. At some point the brutalized mind won't be able to overcome the exhausted body. You rest, Gil. I'll be all right."

~*~

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

Morning broke over Araluen and a few sparse rays of sun made their way through the trees to warm the cottage. Inside was quiet, except for a few hushed pops from the dwindling fire. It was the most peace the cottage had seen in recent days. Eight days had passed since Halt had found Will and brought him home. There hadn't been much peace or quiet since that time. A few hours here and there. Today was different. It was the first time Will had slept for more than a few hours without waking in the throes of a nightmare or confused mess. Then thrashing about wildly before being settled by Halt's strong willed embrace. Either it was the body's immense exhaustion finally winning the battle over the disturbed mind, or it was Halt's idea to have Will initially falling asleep already in his embrace. Ultimately the method didn't matter, so much as the fact that mind and body were finally resting at the same time. Without fighting against each other. That was a big step in the recovery process. Though Halt had to admit it was not good for his own body to be sleeping in an upright position, on the floor with his arms tightened around his apprentice for over nine hours. He was feeling it especially the last couple of nights, but complained only to himself, not wanting to upset Will when things seemed to be moving in the right direction. Gilan sensed it though. He'd offered to give Halt a break and sit with Will for a night or two, but Halt declined, fearing it might upset the routine that Will was becoming accustomed to. This morning when the elder of the three opened his eyes, instead of finding a small shaking body in his arms and fearful eyes peering up at him, he found Will sound asleep. Breathing was even, the intense trembling had lessened, with just a shiver every few breaths. The bandages were unscathed, the sores unaffected for a night.

Perhaps they had turned a corner.

The feeling of morning was replaced by the smells of morning as Halt's nose followed the wonderful aroma of bacon frying over an outside fire. His aching body was tempted to follow the nose, but another look at the motionless form in his arms brought him back. Hopefully Gilan would sense his hunger pains and be merciful on his old master. Mercy came moments later, when the tall Ranger stepped inside with a plate of greasy goodness.

"Gil, you are a savior. And a good cook," Halt said as he downed the food without upsetting the exhausted boy in his arms. "If you've got more, I'm up for seconds."

"I figured as much," and he pulled a second plate from the table and handed it off. "I made a slightly tamer version for Will. Less grease. Maybe it won't upset his stomach like some of the other food has. His stomach is mighty sensitive."

"Probably more tension and anxiety than anything. He needs to eat a good meal and I want to get him outside today. We finally had a good night's rest. Time to build on that and push this recovery forward. It's gotten the best of us so far. Time to take back control."

"I agree. I talked to Seran yesterday and looked in on Tug. He's doing much better. That strange look in his eyes is gone and Seran says he's walking without leaning to one side. Still shakes his head, but maybe those are just some remaining cobwebs. I want to bring him home tomorrow."

Halt nodded his head and swallowed a huge bite of breakfast. "Yes, if he's that much better, he'll be a big help to Will's recovery. Make sure the Baron knows of Seran's support during all of this, and his ability with horses. The boy should be complimented for his efforts."

"I've already spoke to the Baron. He saw me at the stables yesterday and came round to ask about Will. I put in a good word for Seran. Also ran into Horace and Alyss. They suspect something is wrong, especially when they found out Tug was at the stables. I didn't offer much, but enough for them to be comfortable with the fact that Will was hurt and is being well cared for. And that he's not up to visitors. They seemed to read between the words and said they understood. But they wanted Will to know that they care about him."

"They're good friends. It's healthy that he maintains those friendships, even after his apprentice days are done." He downed the last piece of sausage and wiped his face clean. "Excellent, Gilan. Excellent. Now I know why I loved having you as an apprentice. Your cooking skills were unparalleled in the Ranger Corp. I wish you had passed your ability onto Will."

There came a slight movement against Halt's chest and he looked down. Will was still plastered to him, but evidently awake as he remarked quietly, "I heard that. I can cook. Just doesn't taste very good is all. Not my fault. I had a bad teacher." The words and the humor in those words amused both Halt and Gilan. A touch of the real Will had made its way home. For how long was another story.

Halt spoke to the top of the boy's head. "Gilan made breakfast for you. I want you to eat."

Remembering the pain in his stomach the last few times he'd eaten, Will shuttered at the thought. He shook his head and tried to bury himself in Halt's cloak. "No. Makes me sick."

"I know, but you need to eat." Halt was having none of the resistance to eating. The boy had lost weight, and a lot of it. Conditioning had also been lost, but that could be made up later. The body needed nutrition and substance or recovery would stall again. "Come on, Will. Get up." He pushed the dead weight forward and into Gilan's arms where he fell when his knees refused to lock in position. Gilan caught him and sat him in a chair. Halt shook his head. "Washroom, now. I know you have to go after sleeping for that long. Then you'll eat."

At the table, Will gagged several times while trying to swallow the food, but the bites were small enough that they were staying down. "Eat slowly, Will. I know you're hungry. If you get sick, you get sick, but you need something in your stomach."

He paused from a bite to ask his regular question. "Halt, where's Tug? Did he come home? Did you find him?"

The question no longer created the same frustration that it did initially. Halt was used to it, after all it had only been asked about four hundred times in the last eight days. Will's short-term memory was a problem when it came to certain subjects. "That's why you need to eat. Tug is coming home tomorrow."

In the emotionally unstable world of this particular apprentice Ranger, tears formed quickly in young worried eyes. "He's coming home? Here? You found him?"

"We found him when we found you. You just can't remember me telling you that. He's been at Redmont stables with Seran and Blaze caring for him. He's well enough to come home and for you to tend to him now. So, eat."

Between sobs and tears, Will began stuffing food into his mouth, to the point where Halt actually had to slow him. Will didn't truly pay Halt's words any mind, all he could think about was Tug coming home, and he continued to jam the food in until Halt took the plate away. "Okay, Will. Slow. Down."

"But you said I had to eat. And if I want to help Tug I have to eat. Then you took my plate. Halt, I don't understand."

"I know you don't. We're working on that part," and he scraped a few bites of the food onto another smaller plate and pushed it in front of the boy. He continued to bit and piece him until the breakfast was finished.

Will's asking of "Can I have more?" startled the Ranger, but he shook his head.

"Let that settle first. If you keep that down, yes you can have another small meal. We'll do things that way. Better than stuffing yourself until you explode. Right now, we are going outside for some fresh and sun. Can you get dressed on your own?"

A confused look greeted the man as Will seemed to be thinking that one through. He looked down at the clothes he was wearing. They weren't his. But they were comfortable. He wondered where they came from. "These aren't mine."

"No. Remember Pauline lent those to us. You want to try your regular clothes?"

Will nodded and started for his room, leaning on the wall for support. He stopped after a few steps. "Halt, I need help."

"I figured you would. But I'm glad you tried." He put an arm around Will's waist and led him to his bedroom that had temporarily become Gilan's.

"What's this room, Halt? I don't remember it."

"This is your room. Gilan has been staying here for the past week, but once he leaves, you move back in. Nothing looks familiar?" The master Ranger was unfazed by the continued bouts of confusion plaguing the boy. It worried him, sure, but it had become part such a major part of their daily lives that it no longer startled him.

The bed was cushiony as he sat and allowed Halt to remove one shirt and replace it with another. He offered little help as most of his effort was in trying to remain upright. Exhaustion was already creeping back. "It's a nice room. Gilan is nice. I'm trying to remember him. I should know this…"

"He was my first apprentice. Now he's a trusted friend. You remembered him a few days ago, not now?"

"I don't remember remembering him. How long ago did I remember him?"

"Right. Okay, never mind. Stand up and step into the trousers." A grimace crossed Halt's face as Will grabbed onto his shirt collar to keep his balance while moving his weight from one leg to another. "Sit down. You can let go of my collar now. You're choking me with your death grip."

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Will said as he dropped his hand down right before his head began bobbed to the side. He was finding it very difficult to stay awake.

"Come on, Will. Wake up." Halt gently patted the boy's face. "Fresh air will be good for you. We'll go check on Abelard. He's been bored this week, so he'll probably have a word or two for me."

"Abelard. He's your horse. I remember."

The walk to the small stable behind the cottage was slow. Will's mind seemed content enough for the moment, but his body was betraying him. It only wanted rest and it was pulling him down quickly. Halt though was determined to keep him moving. He'd have him lead Abelard around in the small clearing next to the stable. The sun was bright there, taking full advantage of the absence of trees. The warm rays on his face nearly knocked Will over, his body so craving the light and warmth. With Halt on one side and Abelard on the other, they managed to keep him walking. Abelard of course didn't need a lead rope, but it gave Will something to focus on, and the horse sensed that, stepping along quietly beside him, nudging him gently when Will's attention drifted away from the task at hand.

"Feels good, Halt. Warm. I haven't felt warm in a long time. I'm always cold." A deep sigh followed. "I wish none of his had happened."

"I know you're only remembering parts of things, and part of what happened, but when this all passes, I have no doubt that it will have made you stronger. You have the ability to take the smallest thing and turn it around to your benefit. This is somewhat larger, but I think it'll be the same result. Let's not rush things. You'll be doing a lot of horse walking in the next few days. Good for your balance. Good for your strength and your mind."

Will said nothing, but the comforting words meant a lot to him. Halt had never been a man of many words, but he'd never doubted that his mentor would be there for him if the time ever came. And the time had come in a big way. And although he sometimes couldn't remember one moment to the next, the constant presence beside him since he'd arrived home gave him a lifeline to cling to as he struggled to find himself. It was the main reason his mind kept floating to Tug. Tug had been that same unwavering presence during the attack and immediately after the attack that Halt was now during the recovery. He wondered and worried about his equine friend constantly, even though he had a feeling that Halt had told him about Tug and he knew that Halt would make sure that Tug was cared for.

The thought of Tug though brought the nagging question back to his mind once again. He didn't understand why he couldn't remember what his teacher had told him about his pony. If he was safe. If he was well. If he would be coming home soon.

Halt was one step ahead of his apprentice. He had started to recognize the look Will often got when he was ready about to ask about Tug. It was usually the same. Eyes in a tight squint, breathing picked up and he chewed on his bottom lip. Nevertheless, he knew Will would get upset if he couldn't ask and get a response to the question. So, he allowed him another lap with Abelard on his flank, before he stopped them both.

And sure enough, the question came. Will looked up at him with those sad, fatigued eyes and said, "I know you've told me before, but I can't remember. Is Tug okay? Do you know where he is?"

"I wish I knew why this won't click in your mind. Other things do, but not this. It makes no sense. But yes, you have asked, and I have told you. But it's all right. He's at Redmont stables. He's coming home tomorrow. Remember, that's why you are out here walking Abelard, to practice for Tug. You can help him through his last little bit of recovery. And I'm almost certain that he can help you through yours."

The boy was grateful, the emotion showing in his face as he turned to stroke Abelard's neck. The horse nickered in response.

"I think you aren't the only one who misses Tug," Halt said. "Abelard here has been lonely without his buddy to share the latest gossip."

Will smiled at the thought. He did remember that Ranger horses seemed to have a lot to say each other, often behind the backs of their masters. Then he thought about Tug again and was about to ask the same question he'd just asked, when his legs buckled and he fell. The lead rope fell from his grasp. Absently he reached out for the rope - desperate. Then his mind drifted back to when the Kayzar first began their attack. The pressure of their push into his mind made his head hurt as he remembered. Tug had broken free from his grasp in an attempt to counter the beasts and protect his master. Once Will's hand left the reins, the Kayzar launched at the both of them. If only he'd been able to keep Tug with him, perhaps together they would have been strong enough to resist. Losing touch with Abelard brought all of this back, and he panicked thinking he was reliving the nightmare. "Tug! No! Come back! Please don't hurt him! Tug!!!"

A confused Abelard returned to Will's side and nudged him gently. Halt did the only thing that seemed to work to settle the young Ranger, kneeling to him and drawing him into an embrace until the episode passed. When his breathing returned to normal, and stray tears had dried, Will's mind and body faltered. Eyes closed as his head leaned against Halt's chest. It was safe there. The Kayzar couldn't touch him. His mind didn't betray him and his thoughts stayed more or less tranquil.

Halt clicked to Abelard who leaned his head down so his lead rope could be disconnected, then the horse was sent on his own back to the cottage while the Ranger lifted his apprentice like a small child into his arms and back home. Once there, he hesitated before putting the boy on the cot. There had not been a peaceful rest period for Will unless Halt was with him. Halt thought about sitting with him while he slept, but decided against it. One thing he didn't want to become was a security blanket. He wouldn't leave Will when awake and emotionally drained, but he needed to start detaching himself from him while he slept. It just wasn't good for his aging body to sleep in odd positions. He was feeling it and it was painful, mostly in his back and shoulders and it wasn't healthy for Will in the long run. Some type of normalcy needed to make its way back into their lives. It was difficult though. Halt had felt their already solid bond growing stronger this week. It would make them a formidable Ranger team in the coming years of Will's apprenticeship and would lead to a deep lasting friendship long after. So he didn't want to scar that bond by making Will feel like he was turning him away. There just had to be a balance during the rest of the recovery. Will was still a boy. Sixteen years old, although his small and wiry stature gave the appearance of being several years younger. This last week, he'd been almost childlike, though it was no fault of his own. And it was the main reason Halt suspected that Will didn't want his friends to see him. It was one thing for his teacher or even for a seasoned fellow Ranger like Gilan to see him quivering in fear and clinging to his mentor when the world fell around him. It was another for his friends and age-mates, those he'd been raised with and competed with, to see him hiding in the arms of Halt when his mind began its deceiving tricks. Halt couldn't blame him. He would have felt the same way and he'd made a habit of burying most of his emotions deeply enough that few ever saw them, except those closest to him.

The blankets were drawn around him and the fire was restarted; warming the room - Will looked peaceful for now. It gave Halt a chance to get a few things done around the cottage. The place looked like a disaster area. Gilan popped back in while he was straightening up. "Where've you been?"

"Checking out a false Kayzar sighting. Word is out that the Kayzar attacked a Ranger, so people are a little jumpy. If the beast can take down a Ranger, it can take down anything…so they say."

"Do me a favor, if there is a confirmed sighting, do not go anywhere near those damned things alone. Take a posse with you. I don't want you ending up like Will. It's difficult enough caring for one of you. Two of you would send me over the edge. Just…be careful."

"You have my world, Halt." The younger man motioned with his eyes for Halt to look behind him. Will was sitting up and staring at them. "I think maybe he heard what we were just talking about and maybe misunderstood."

"Damn it," Halt went to his student and sat on the table in front of him. The flames of the fire warmed the side of his face. "Will?"

A glance downward as Will spoke. "I'm a burden, aren't I?"

"No." Halt said firmly.

"But what you said. You don't want Gilan ending up like me. What's that mean? A child that you have to take care of?"

"No, Will. That's not what I meant. I meant that I didn't want Gilan to end up being attacked and tortured by those things so he has to go through the same hell you are going through. I know you don't want to be like this. I don't like seeing you like this. But you are not a burden. Don't ever think that."

Gilan sat next to Will on the cot and continued his former master's thought process, saying the words that Halt wanted to, but always struggled with. "We care about you, Will. You're a part of the Ranger family. And more importantly you are a part of our family. Me, you, Halt, Tug, Blaze, Abelard. We're a smaller tighter family inside a larger one. We'll always look after each other. We'll always care about each other. About you. If Halt or I were in your shoes right now, don't you think the other two of us would be doing everything in our power to help the other? Like with you? That has nothing to do with feeling sorry for them, and it would never become a burden. It's just part of life. We live a dangerous life. Even a routine mission, as you discovered, can go completely wrong. Thankfully we have each other to lean on and we have each other to care for us. That's why we're here. If you were a burden, well then I would have been gone long ago." Gilan's famous smile lit his face and he put an arm around his friend to cement their own growing bond. "Halt would have said all that, but his tongue and mouth don't work correctly when the words get too mushy."

Halt gave his former apprentice a look that made Will laugh, and made the bad feelings of the last few moments disappear, just before he felt the world leaning on him again.

"You should still be sleeping young man," the older of the trio replied.

"I try. It scares me sometimes to close my eyes. Those things are there. Not all the time, but enough. I get confused and mixed up."

"I know. But it's safe here."

"My head hurts." The voice was getting smaller again.

"Healer Casler thinks that's the stress your body is going through. Lack of sleep, food and high stress can cause that. So, you know what you have to do, right?"

Will cracked a half crooked smile, despite the discomfort. "I need to sleep and eat. And I need to get stronger. Tug…Tug is coming home tomorrow." He surprised himself so much with that mention of Tug and actually remembering it, that he had to wipe a few tears away that had quickly surfaced. He spoke quietly and addressed Halt directly, a tiny splash of pride could be heard in his voice as he said, "I remembered."

Halt himself was fighting several of his own tears hearing Will finally win one of the toughest battles yet, remembering the answer to that darn Tug question. "You did." Taking the boys hands, he held them for a moment. "I'm proud of you."

Another laugh escaped, this one coated in a happy sob. Then he leaned back towards Gilan and rested on his shoulder. Halt grinned at them. Truth be told, he was damn proud of both of them, but had a hard enough time admitting it to either of them.

"You go on now, Halt. Go do your house cleaning or whatever it was you were doing. Will and I will sit here at the fireside, telling old stories about you until he falls asleep."

"Why do I think this is a bad idea to have my two apprentices talking about me behind my back?"

"Because it is. Don't worry. I'll be nice. Besides, he needs rest. I'll save the juicy stuff for when he's healthy and can laugh pain free. Then, you're in trouble."

"Then you are going back to your own fief, so you can't contaminate his brain with your embellished tales."

Will remained silent. He was enjoying the bickering. It made him feel part of the family that Gilan had talked about. Maybe this event really would make him stronger. If nothing else, it had brought the three of them closer as friends. That much almost made it worth the emotional anguish. When the good natured ribbing was done, he gave in to his weary body and mind once again. Gilan was going on about the flames and how they danced to their own rhythm, and how they could lull anyone to sleep in the right moment. Will leaned heavily on the tall Ranger as the flames lulled him into a deep sleep that lasted until dinner time.

~*~

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

"Halt?"

"Yes, Will."

"What happens if they come back for me?"

"They won't. I - we will make sure of it."

"How?"

"We just will. I promise."

"Okay."

Halt didn't expect Will to just accept that as his final answer. But this Will was so much different than the Will of old who would have bombarded him with a succession of follow up questions. The recovering version of Will had to take each answer, attempt to digest it and hopefully remember it. Nevertheless, Halt prodded to keep him talking as Gilan placed plates of fried rabbit and potatoes in front of them. "You accept my answer just like that? I say the Kayzar won't get you again and you say okay?"

"Yes," Will said plainly as the intoxicating, delicious smell gripped his senses.

"Why?"

"I trust you."

"It's that simple?"

"It is for us apprentices," Gilan chimed in as he sat down. "We trust you for everything, Halt. I can't recall a time when you let me down. I'm sure it's the same for Will, even if he can't quite grasp that just yet. You said you'll protect him from those things. Even in his state of mind, he knows that means you'll lay down your life if you have to in order to keep them from hurting him again."

Halt nodded slowly, taken aback by the total and complete faith and belief that they had in him. He supposed he'd never really thought of it from their point of view. He'd done what came naturally to him - protected those under his care. Those he considered his friends and family.

"We know you might fail. We know you aren't perfect. But on the eve of battle, give us the choice of an army of well trained men, or an army of you, we'd take you every time. It's all about trust." Gilan chewed a potato and encouraged Will to eat as Halt continued to take in what had just been said. When he finally accepted it, he too dug into his dinner and cleaned his plate.

~*~

Will was so excited about Tug coming home the next day he found it nearly impossible to sit still by the fireplace that evening. He'd kept dinner down, another positive sign, but none of them wanted to get too encouraged too soon. Will was making steady progress these last couple of days, but his mind still dove into the unknown unexpectedly. As it did again that night. Halt had let him sleep on his own, and regretted his decision not long after midnight when Will woke in a quivered frenzy, clutching at the bandages on his arms in an attempt to rip them off. His entire body shook with tension until Halt took control back and pulled the boy to him.

Instead of curling into the familiar embrace, Will bent his legs up, wrapped his arms around them and touched his temple to his knees. The thin shoulders shook with frustrated sobs. His mind was becoming clear enough that he remembered more, thinking he'd won the battle, but then he'd fall right back into the same nightmare. It was enough to break down his spirit a little bit more each time. To get so far, then get drawn back down into that all too familiar world of complete fear and confusion…at times it was impossible to even think of starting another climb back out.

"I thought I was getting better, Halt. I had a good day. I even ate without throwing up. Now this. I hate those things. Those Kayzars. I hate them. They did this to me and I can't stop falling backwards." He rocked himself and continued his cursing of the beasts. Gilan, who had come running from the bedroom at the noise, stood away from them watching. It hurt to see his young friend like this. It hurt just as much to watch his mentor suffering on the same journey. He flashed back to something his father had once said to him when he was younger. Something about - for every two steps you take forward, you have to take one step back. Otherwise, he said, things just went to hell. His father had a way with words. But that seemed to apply here. Will was moving forward then falling back again, but each time he fell back a little less than before. The progress was there, but for the victim living it, that progress was often difficult to see. It was with surprise then that he heard Halt using similar words. Positive steps, then you falter. A frustrating process, but one necessary to achieve complete recovery. Gilan wondered if he'd shared those words of his father with Halt at one point during his apprenticeship.

"A wise man once told me that. Well, he's wise now. I'm not sure how wise he was as a seventeen year old." Halt glanced over to Gilan, now standing close. His eyes smiled softly. "It's difficult, Will, I know. Will. It'll get better then it'll get bad again. But each time, the bad lasts for a shorter time. You're working your way back, but it takes time to undo what they did to you."

By now Will had uncoiled his knees from his chest and was leaning back against Halt in the comforting position he'd become so accustomed to. He'd never directly asked his mentor to stay with him and protect him while he slept, but this time he was rattled enough to do so. Especially since tomorrow was such a big day. He wanted to be well rested for Tug's homecoming. "Halt, can you stay with me until I fall asleep? Tug is coming home tomorrow. I need to be rested for him."

"You remembered again. Maybe we finally beat that one, huh?"

"I think so. Will you stay?"

"I suppose I can, once more. My back has already aged itself ten years in this last week. What's another few years among friends?"

"Thank you," Will said as he felt a blanket being draped around the two of them. The boy took hold of the hand before it released the blanket and held tight. "Thanks, Gil."

"Yeah. Now rest. Both of you."

The remainder of the night was uneventful and the cottage was once again at peace.

~*~

Will sat on the cottage verandah, the slight overhang shielding him from the downpour of rain that had slammed into Araluen a few hours previous. There was a thought that it might spoil his reunion with Tug – the one thing he'd been so desperate for. Gilan however had taken one look at the boy's face that morning and decided downpour or not, he'd be riding to the Redmont Castle to get Tug. He'd be soaked, as would the horses, but he couldn't keep Tug away any longer. Will was becoming impatient though and was now getting hit by some of the wind-driven rain. He couldn't understand what was taking so long. It was past three hours now since Gilan's departure and still no sign of his return.

"Will, please get inside." Halt had come out to check on his apprentice and saw him getting wet. "The last thing we need on top of what we are already dealing with is for you to get sick. Your body doesn't have much to fight with right now. It's cold and wet out here. Inside, please."

"The boy's eyes never left the forest path where he knew Tug would emerge from. "Please, Halt. Just a few more minutes. It can't be much longer, can it?"

"It might be a lot longer, depending on what this weather does. You've ridden in wind and rain like this before. It's not easy or fun. And Gilan also has to return his borrowed horse and probably report once more to the Baron. All of this takes time."

Young shoulders fell in defeat. "I know."

"At least finish your breakfast. Here." Halt shoved a warm plate at him, the remains of what he hadn't eaten two hours ago. "Tug won't recognize you, all skin and bones like you are. Keep eating so I can stop harassing you about it. Better yet, humor me."

"I'm not a very good patient, am I?"

"No, not really. You're in good company though. I'm about ten times worse. Ask Gilan, he'll tell you."

"I'll miss him when he has to go back to his fief."

"So will I. As much as young people drive me up the castle walls, I will admit, it's been nice having him around again. I only wish it had been under better circumstances."

Will wiped several droplets of rain from his brow. "I'm tired of feeling like this, Halt. I'm afraid of those things coming back for me. I'm afraid of the nightmares that come. I never know when to expect them. When I feel normal, I feel like everything will be all right. Then I get dragged back into that place where I can only feel fear and cold and confusion."

Halt sat there watching Will nibble on his food as he spoke. "It won't be like this forever. You've already come a long way in a short time. I have no doubt you'll be you again soon enough, if with a few extra physical and mental scars."

"I hope so." Popping the last bit into his mouth, the plate slipped from his fingers and crashed down onto the verandah's floorboards, breaking on impact. "Sorry. I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"Once you see Tug, you'll sleep. With the weather is so bad, you'll have to wait until tomorrow to start walking him." Halt slipped an arm around him as he began fading and leaning to the side. "Wake up, Will. I hear…"

Even in his suddenly sleepy state, Will heard the whinny and his head shot up. He stood quickly. A little too quickly, but Halt was there. He knew that whinny anywhere. Then he saw that familiar shaggy face entering the clearing just in front of the cottage. "Tug!" Rain or no rain; mud or no mud, Will threw himself into the weather and his arms around the shaggy gray neck. The little horse seemed to wrap his head around the small form of his beloved master and held him tightly. Tug nickered as Will cried. Within minutes, the boy was soaking wet though it didn't seem to matter. He had worried so long and so often about Tug, to finally see him and physically touch his mane and neck and face, and see those big, intelligent eyes - it was too much. He broke down completely and wouldn't let go, even as Halt tried to pull him away.

"The rain is not good for either of you, Will. Let's get him to his shelter."

Will still refused to let go, only doing so when Tug stuffed his nose into his master's shoulder and pushed at him, then led the way to the dry shelter. Tug dragged Will with him since he couldn't get him to let go of his mane, and then another reunion took place. Tug saw Abelard and the two immediately began throwing their heads around and nickering loudly. Blaze, not to be left out, trotted in after Gilan dismounted. The three of them together was like seeing three long lost friends finding each other after years apart. It warmed Will's heart even though he'd hated to finally let go of his horse. He knew Tug deserved to see his friends and share his stories with them in whatever way horses did.

"I missed him so much," Will said wiping at his eyes.

"I know you did. He looks good though. A great deal better than when we found him. The Kayzar were able to affect his mind as well."

"I need to thank Seran."

"Gilan has already spoken to the Baron about the job he's done. I suspect Seran won't be just a stable hand for much longer."

Will smiled. Dark hair hanging in his eyes, water dripping down his face, soaked to the bone, but the smile was the most genuine Halt had seen on him in a long time. This was what Will needed. His much-loved horse back home. Halt hoped it was the trigger for the youngster to really begin making progress in getting his strength and energy back.

"Go tell Tug that your master is kidnapping you for a while. You need to get out of these clothes before you end up sick. No arguing with me either. Tug is home, but you can't lose your focus."

"I know," and Will moved towards Tug, sliding between he and Abelard. Both whinnied a greeting and Tug lowered his head, leaning his face into Will's chest so that his friend could scratch his ears in that certain way he loved so much. It took the boy a moment to remember, but he did, and reached both hands up to massage the ears before laying the side of his face on that spot just between Tug's eyes, where his mane fell forward. "I missed you Tug. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, but Halt was taking care of me while you were hurt. Thank you for protecting me. I wish I could have done the same for you. I'll see you soon, all right? You stay with Abelard, he missed you too." With a last hug around the horse's neck, Will reluctantly pulled himself away.

~*~

A difficult night followed, catching all three of them off guard. The thought had been with Tug back, it would calm Will's mind to the point where he would at least be able to get a good night's rest. It hadn't calmed it, and a good night's rest hadn't happened. In fact he was restless from dark till dawn. Will's dreams had been filled with nightmares about Tug being taken and lost to the Kayzar forever. It got so bad at one point that he'd woken and staggered into the rain toward the horse shelter before Halt knew he was gone. When Halt finally convinced him that Tug was safe, he was already wet and soggy from the continued downpours. The rest of the night was just as bad until he finally found sleep an hour before the sun rose.

He woke with shadowed eyes filled with emotion.

Gilan acknowledged him from the kitchen. "Morning, Will. Come eat something. The rain finally stopped, if it stays stopped, we'll get Tug out for a walk."

The sleepy eyes scanned the cottage looking for something - for someone. Instantly he was worried when there was no sign of Halt. Gilan, having anticipated the anxiety, worked quickly to ease it. "Halt rode to Redmont castle for a few errands. He'll be back later. Gave me strict orders to not let you leave your chair until every morsel of food has been eaten."

Will glanced up at him, clearly not feeling his tall friend's humor. He sat down and picked at the food. "Not hungry."

"I know that. But eat anyway. Humor me. You need weight on your bones so that Tug will realize it's you on his back and not a goose feather."

"On his back? I get to ride him today?"

"Well, maybe. Depends on how sturdy you are on your feet." Gilan hadn't spoken with Halt about this one, but figured it couldn't hurt to let the boy try if he was up to it. And it was a solid guess that Halt would be gone a good part of the day, especially since one of his errands was to try and convince Healer Casler to allow Will a mild sedative to help him sleep. And he knew that Tug would be careful with Will up. Heck, Tug would be more than careful. And he'd be there with them, with Blaze's help the whole time. "But it won't even be a consideration unless you polish off your entire breakfast. Then we'll brush the horses down and go from there?"

"Okay," Will replied as he poked at his food. It was his favorite meal, complete with six slices of bacon, but it was still hard to eat. The nightmares had rattled him and he was having difficulty shaking the feeling. But he did eat, under the close and watchful eye of Gilan. When he finished, he pushed the plate away. "I was hungrier than I thought."

"Thank you for humoring me. Why don't you get your clothes changed and into something that can get dirty and covered in horse hair, and we'll see about offering our horses a little attention. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."

Will smiled and carefully made his way to his bedroom, which was still temporarily Gilan's. He dug through the tiny closet and came up with the oldest pair of trousers he could find. Choosing a heavier shirt, he hoped it would be enough to stop the chills that had starting again. He feared he was catching cold as Halt warned would happen after being drenched in cold rain. It wouldn't be enough to stop him from seeing to Tug though, or from a possible ride on him. If he wanted to beat this, he knew he needed to work on keeping his focus on other things besides those issues that continued to plague him since the Kayzar attack. Maybe that was what Gilan was trying to do by putting the attention on the horses. He returned to the living area dressed and ready. Gilan looked at his feet and laughed.

"What?"

"Forgetting something?"

Looking down, Will realized he still had on the warm slippers that Lady Pauline had sent. Probably not the best attire for horse grooming. "Oh, I forgot. They're so comfortable. Too bad we can't make Ranger boots out of his material." He tried to flip them off his feet, lost his balance and fell on his rear. Momentarily dazed, he struggled trying to grasp Gilan's hand.

"Might be better if you sit down and then put the boots on. Your equilibrium seems to be lagging behind the rest of you."

"I get dizzy sometimes."

"Probably food related. Or lack of food related. I get like that when I don't eat for a few meals. Completely knocks you off your game, doesn't it?"

"Yes. It's unexpected."

"Without the nutrition it needs, the body can't cope. You keep eating good and you'll see that get better."

Will nodded as he pulled on his second boot and stood, following Gilan out the door and towards the horse shelter. They found Tug and Blaze standing quietly together. Tug hadn't emptied his food tub from the night before, triggering alarms in both Rangers. Will couldn't pinpoint exactly why something like that would cause concern to him, but it did. Gilan noticed the slight confusion on the boy's face. "You noticed the food tub but not sure why you did, huh?"

Will nodded. "Some things still aren't clicking in my mind yet."

"When a horse doesn't finish its food, that's usually an indication that he's not quite right. Something could be nagging him. Seran said he started out not eating, but the last few days in the stables, he was eating everything in sight. Maybe he still has a few cobwebs to shake. We don't know how the Kayzar affected him, so we can only guess it was similar to what you got hit with. And who knows how horses deal with an intrusion like that. We'll watch him and see how his actions are today and how he eats up later."

"Can I still ride him?"

"One thing at a time, Will. Grab a brush, let's get them cleaned up."

Will found a brush and went to stroke the pony, only to have his hand pushed away. Tug knocked the brush out of his grasp. "What's wrong, boy?"

A laugh came from behind. "Wrong brush. That's the one Halt uses on Abelard. These guys are picky about things like that. Tug's is the darker one with the broken leather strap."

"Silly horse," Will said as he picked up the correct brush and began rubbing the shaggy coat. "Silly, Tug, aren't you? I bet you were spoiled with Seran. Brushed several times a day. Constant attention. Special treats. I wonder…"

"Apples," came a whisper. "Tug loves apples."

Will looked over at Gilan, puzzled. "How did you know I was going to ask that?"

"You're easy to read when you can't hide anything. All of your emotions and questions are right out there for anyone to see. You are so focused on your actions and what the next step is you don't think to shield that other part of you."

"Oh, I'm obvious then?"

"Right now, yes. Tug can read you too, see?" Gilan motioned to Tug's head which had moved towards the older Ranger and into his pocket. "He knows I keep an apple around for Blaze. He was probably going to steal it from me, show it to you and then crunch it up in front of our faces. Spiteful little devil."

Will flashed a crooked smile and went back to brushing again, this time combing through the thick mane. "He's not spiteful, just sneaky."

"Here, Will," Gilan handed him a different brush for the mane, this one had long pronged teeth. "This type works easier for the mane."

"Thanks. I should have guessed that even if I didn't remember."

The rest of the time was spent without words. Each Ranger took his time grooming every last part of his horse, until both shined. With the sun finally managing its way through the thick gray clouds, Will hooked an unnecessary lead rope onto Tug and led him to the clearing and started walking him in large circles. The sun bounced off Tug's shoulders and warmed them both until the chills lessened. They walked for an hour until both were completely worn out. A sunbathed spot nearby provided the perfect resting place. Settling down, Tug lowered himself onto the soft forest grass, laying his nose on Will's leg. Will sat next to him stroking the soft muzzle as the sun completed its morning ascent.

~*~

Tbc…


	6. Chapter 6

It had taken hours of patience waiting for Healer Casler to spare a few minutes of time, but recently Halt had become a master of patience. The stocky round healer stepped into his office and greeted the Ranger with a firm handshake. "Good to see you, Halt. I've not had a chance to check on Will lately. How is he?"

"Recovering. He's found a lot of himself, but still missing some pieces. Nights are difficult, which is what I wanted to see you about. The nightmares are constant. And continue to change. The Kayzar are usually involved, but the victim often changes. Last night he dreamed that Tug was taken from him and killed. It was more graphic than that in his mind, of course, but if his mind can't rest, his body can't rest. He wears out quickly."

"So you want something to help him sleep?" The healer followed Halt's build up easily enough.

"Yes. Nothing too strong. Just enough to take the edge off so he can rest."

"And to allow you rest. You look as worn as I've ever seen you."

Halt didn't disagree completely. "I feel worn, though I'm fine."

"Uh huh. I know you well enough Halt to know that you don't often ask for help. So when you do, it's serious. I can give you a sedative for him. I don't know if it'll combat the worst of the nightmares, but it should help some. Just go easy on it. I don't want him relying too heavily on a medicine to get him past this."

Halt bowed his head in thanks as the healer disappeared briefly then returned with a small box. "One pill before bed. Reduce it to a half in a week's time. If it doesn't help, let me know." Final instructions and the healer excused himself for another call he had to make. Halt made for the Diplomatic Service office, hoping he would not run into Will's close friend, Alyss on the way. A welcoming presence greeted him at the door. Lady Pauline's long gray hair framed her sculpted face, and only added to her elegance. She always saved her warmest smiles for Halt, even if he didn't always return the gesture.

"Will?"

"Slow progress, but progress."

She invited him to sit and took a spot in the empty chair next to him. "Gilan has been giving me updates. I promise that I'm not prodding, and he's been allowing Will his privacy, but I have been worried. I know how much that boy means to you."

He gave her a questioning look.

"It's not exactly a secret for those of us who know you, Halt. He's been good for you. I worry about you both. And what Gilan tells me goes no further. I swear to you."

Halt breathed a sigh of relief, to his own surprise. "You have my gratitude, Pauline. For that and for the assistance you have given. The clothes have been most welcome. Will has been thinking about asking Crowley to have Ranger attire made from that fabric."

The lady laughed. "Smart boy. I'm glad to have helped. If I can do anything more…" She knew how much Halt hated asking for help, but the fact that he had, several times during this ordeal; gave her pause. The boy's presence into his life had affected him more than she ever could have imagined. And she was grateful of that presence. "How about lunch before you go? You look as if you've missed more than a few meals recently."

"It has been difficult," he admitted.

"Being there for someone who has lost everything while taking care of yourself at the same time, is not easy."

"I should get back." Halt shifted in his chair, his discomfort with the conversation obvious. "I shouldn't be away for too long."

"Will will understand. He needs time apart from you. You won't always be there when his mind floats back to what has happened. Gilan is with him right now, yes?"

"Yes. He's not ready to be left alone. He still gets very confused and fearful at times and forgets things. Gilan has been a great help. Will trusts him as much as he trusts me. They've formed a close friendship."

"I figured they would. Gilan is easy to like. And Will is eager to develop those friendships. Alyss tells me that he's always had an empty part of him inside longing for a family. Never knowing his parents, growing up as he did. He had friends, but was lonely at the same time. There was always something missing. You and Gilan have given him what he's longed for. A family. An odd family," she smirked, "but a caring one, nonetheless."

Halt didn't reply. He didn't really know how. Seems she knew more about him than he ever thought. "How about that lunch now," he finally said, trying desperately to avoid anymore conversation that threatened his emotions. Truth be told, this recovery process with Will had strained him emotionally. He wasn't used to speaking of those feelings. But circumstances had led to more emotion in the past weeks than in his entire life before Will. He wondered if he was getting soft in his advancing age.

Lady Pauline smiled curiously at him as if reading his thoughts. "A boy as close to you as a blood born son, of course he's making you soft in your…maturing age. Come on, lunch is waiting."

~*~

"I did it, Gil!" Will raised one hand in triumph a he managed to pull himself back into the saddle after falling off the first time. Gilan had panicked when he'd fallen, fearing the worst. But Will had dragged himself up, refusing help, and walked Tug over to a log so he could lift himself back into the saddle. He smiled broadly.

"Keep your focus, Will. Two hands on the reins please. Thank you. It's enough that Halt might kill me for letting you do this, but if you get hurt, he'll…"

A grizzled voice approached from the trees. "He'll what?"

Gilan let his head fall into Blaze's shaggy mane and muttered, "He'll kill me a second time. Ah…Hi, Halt."

"Gilan." Halt looked down at him from atop Abelard, but the younger Ranger couldn't decipher the glare. It wasn't angry, more cautious than anything. "How long has he been at this?"

"Not long. Ten minutes. We spent the morning brushing the horses and resting. He's had two meals today. I've been holding Tug over his head. If he eats, he gets more time with him."

"Blackmail? I should have thought of that. And don't give me any of your age jokes either."

"Me?"

"He looks a little peaked up there. Much too thin and pale. So different."

"Yes, but Tug has been good for him. Took him a while to remember the correct brush and brush strokes to use, Tug helped him out though and once it started coming back, he fell right into the old routine. He needs the repetition. He's used to giving into the confusion and exhaustion, he needs to know he can do these things day after day. These things that mean something. Tug is important to him. So it's important for him to focus on the care of Tug. It's all connected. I'm starting to figure this out. His mind is a puzzle, but the pieces to fit together at odd angles."

Halt edged Abelard closer to his first apprentice and lay a hand on his shoulder and tapped his fingers several times. No words were exchanged, but Gilan knew that touch. It was his mentor's way of showing profound gratitude when words would not come.

Will had been putting so much focus into keeping astride Tug that he hadn't noticed Halt's return until he'd achieved several circuits of the clearing. He kept his focus though upon seeing his teacher and rode over to them. Halt noticed Tugs unusually gentle gait, each step taken as if walking on cotton. "You look good up there, Will. How does it feel?"

"I couldn't remember the feeling until I was up. Now…it feels like home." He wavered a bit in the saddle before catching himself. Halt figured that the cotton steps Tug was taking were a big part of what was keeping the boy in the saddle, but Will didn't need to know that.

"You're getting stronger."

"I am." Looking very proud of the small accomplishment, Will led Tug around in another giant circle. The pair seemed in complete sync until the little horse suddenly stumbled and began shaking his head violently. Within seconds, Will was thrown and the reins fell from his hands. A distressed Tug was reeled in by Blaze and kept in the clearing until Gilan could grab hold.

"Easy, Tug. Easy." The pony thrashed his head about while the Ranger continued soothing him.

Will had fallen on his knees and stayed there in momentary pain and confusion. The face in front of him was talking, instructing him to life his head and look at him, but it took a minute to understand the request. Finally he brought his head up and met Halt's eyes. He expected disappointment and saw no such thing.

"That was an interesting dismount, Will. Not sure how you managed to not fall on your head."

"What happened to Tug? Is he okay?"

A glace to the right to see that with the help of the other two ponies, Gilan had successfully settled the small horse. "He's calming. Seems the affects of the Kayzar are still haunting the both of you. I think that's enough for today."

Will put the pieces together. "That's why he didn't finish his food last night. This morning, his tub wasn't empty. He was hurting."

"Probably. Can you stand?"

"Yes," Will said, carefully placing one foot on the ground and pushing himself upright. Halt steadied him at the elbow until the dizziness passed. "I should rest." There was no argument from the elder Ranger as he led the boy inside, motioning to Gilan to see to the horses.

Will found a comfortable spot in Halt's favorite chair, relaxed into it and shut his eyes. Sleep soon followed.

"Tug's all right," Gilan said as he walked inside, lowering his voice when seeing Will asleep. "I put Abelard and Blaze on either side of him though. Hmm, what's that smell?"

"Something called pala cream cake. Pauline understands from Will's friend, Alyss, that it was his favorite growing up. I suspect Alyss has some idea of what is going on, she Jenny make these especially for Will. You've met her. She's another of Will's ward-mates. The one apprenticing under Master Chubb. Pauline gave them to me after our lunch. They're quite good."

"Yes, I know. I used to overindulge in them as a child, they're known throughout Araluen. I expended great effort sneaking around my father to get a hold of those little cakes. They're mighty addictive."

"At this point, anything he gets into his body and keeps in is a good thing. And it'll be a good diversion from the sedative that I'll be trying to convince him to try. He won't like it, I know. Probably thinking it's a weakness to have to rely on a drug to sleep, but if it helps him sleep longer than two hours at a time, it'll be worth it. I can con him with the cakes." Halt grinned mischievously.

"You can con me with those things. You might be able to con entire enemy armies. We should keep those things handy."

"After dinner."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just like when I was younger. Sometimes, Halt you are no fun at all." Gilan returned the playful smile and stood by the warming fire stoking and reenergizing the flames. It was a comforting contrast to the chilly outside air until he discovered he was being watched.

Will's nap hadn't lasted long, but he hadn't moved from the fetal-like position he'd drawn himself into, tucked securely in a blanked specially made by Lady Pauline. He watched Gilan with half-open eyes, almost as if he was trying to remember who he was. There was no fear, more bewilderment than anything. Will knew the man stoking the fire. He trusted him. But his mind wouldn't let him recall anything else. Body rising and falling with a series of extended deep breaths, Will attempted to work through this latest episode. Gilan saw the intense concentration and stayed quiet. He motioned Halt with his eyes that Will was in embroiled in another internal struggle. The older Ranger nodded in understanding and took a spot next to his former apprentice. Will's eyes darted to the new presence. The same problem existed. He knew that he knew him and trusted him, but nothing more. His focus renewed as he looked from one man to the other desperate to work it out on his own. It was an hour of grueling concentration before he finally won the battle and acknowledged his friends.

"Halt. Gilan." Will said quietly from the security of chair and blanket. "I didn't let it beat me this time. I remembered. I kept piecing it together and pushing the attacking tendril away. I pushed back. I remembered."

Both men smiled warmly at him, proud that he'd managed a victory against what the Kayzar had done to his mind. A victory fought for and won on his own. Before Halt could say anything though, Will was snoring softly again.

~*~

Not surprisingly, the sedative did not receive an enthusiastic greeting by the apprentice Ranger. As much as he'd enjoyed the pala cream cakes, having eaten three of them - when Halt brought up the subject of a medicine to help him sleep, Will was having none of it.

"I can do this on my own, Halt. I beat it already once today. I can do it again. I don't want any artificial help. That means weakness, and I'm not weak. Just…injured. If I start relying on this then they've beaten me, or at least a part of me. Please, Halt. Let me try and do this on my own. I want to. I need to. Don't give up on me yet by forcing this stuff on me. I can do this."

As much as Halt understood the conflict and the need to defeat these demons on one's own terms, he was also realistic about the situation. And the situation was that neither of them were sleeping well. Going on almost two weeks now, it couldn't continue. At his age, Halt's body couldn't take this type of constant abuse, and for a teenage boy, it was damaging to his current and future health.

"Will, don't think I've not considered this completely. I've not given up on you. That's impossible. And no this does not make you weak. Needing assistance to nurse an injury is not a weakness. You need help. More help than I or Gilan or Tug can give you. You need rest. Solid and uninterrupted rest. Small naps here and there aren't working. How quickly you faltered today when working with Tug? That's your body giving out on you. Sleep will fix that. It's what you are missing most of all. You're eating better, you are up and moving, working with Tug. Heh, I never thought you'd be riding him this soon, but you were. That's a huge step, but you can't keep taking those steps if your body can't maintain the pace. Let's try it tonight and see how it goes. If it helps you sleep through the night, or most of it, I want you to consider taking the one pill a night as Healer Casler prescribed. If it doesn't help, we'll not persist. Please, Will. Just try – for me."

From his chair at the table, Will looked at Halt, really looked at him for the first time since this nightmare began. What he saw was a much different man than what he recalled before the Kayzar attack. His mentor was tired. His mind and body filled with overwhelming fatigue. His eyes showed the most. Once deep and intense. Now worn and weary. Halt wasn't a young man. Surely it wasn't healthy for him to be in this condition. Will began to feel somewhat guilty about what he'd put him through. Halt had sacrificed his own well being to care for his foolish apprentice who took a solo mission, thinking it was as simple as finding the Baron's missing horses and corralling them back. It had become much more than that and now he'd brought his mentor and others down with him.

He gave in. "For you, Halt, I will try. I'm sorry for the problems I've caused."

Holding a hand up, Halt stopped him. "Don't start. This is not about feeling guilty. This is about you and your recovery. We…I do care about what happens to you."

"You're tired, Halt. I can see it on you. I didn't see it until just now. Gilan is tired too. I see your eyes, they show everything. I wish I could have seen it earlier. Maybe I could have pushed myself harder to recover faster."

"And caused more injury in the process. Gilan and I will live, Will. We will manage. No more worrying about us, alright?"

"Okay." Then he caught a glimpse of the pill. "That's a big pill, Halt. Are you sure that's not meant for Tug?'

The look his mentor gave him was enough to bring a smile back to Will's face for a moment. He took the pill and downed it in one swallow of tea.

"Good, now get changed and into bed. And before you ask, Tug is fine. I checked on him not long ago. I even put that blanket on him that you bought a few months ago. I think Abelard and Blaze are jealous. Either that or they were laughing at him. Hard to tell. But he's settled for the night. Go on now, I'll re-stoke the fire."

~*~

The sedative worked its medicinal magic. Will succeeded in his first full night of solid sleep since coming home. The change in him that next morning was obvious. Eyes bright and a slight lessening of the dark circles under them were pleasant surprises. There was even a little bounce in his step, at least for few strides.

"Well, don't you look spry this morning," Halt remarked as he pulled a chair out for his apprentice at the table and placed a cup of tea in his hands.

"No coffee?"

"Not yet. Tea is easier on your stomach. How did you rest?"

"I woke up twice, but only for a minute. It felt good to sleep – to really sleep."

"So, you're okay then with continuing on the sedative." It was a statement, not a question. Halt already knew the answer.

"I feel better, Halt. For the first time since you found me."

"Good."

"Can I ride Tug today?"

"I don't see why not. He polished off his feed last night. The sun is out. Perhaps we can take a short ride through the trails."

Will nodded eagerly. "Can we?"

"Only if you eat your entire breakfast, then brush Tug down and get him saddled."

The saddle, Halt knew was an obstacle. He wanted to see how his apprentice handled it. It required strength and coordination, both of which the boy was lacking at the moment, but he was determined. And he was ready to move forward.

"I can do that. Where's Gilan?"

"Cooking. It's been like having room service with him around. I might need to hire him back once in a while. We eat well."

"Yes you do eat well, and it'll be over soon enough," Gilan remarked as he walked in with a pan full of fried eggs and bacon. He tossed a share on all three plates, along with a few slices of apple for health's sake. "Eat your fruit before Tug drains the supply dry. He thinks because he's home now suddenly all the apples in Redmont belong to him. The little pig." He paused for a moment before delivering the real news. "I've got to head home today. Crowley rode by early this morning before either of you were up. I'm back on duty in my own fief as of tomorrow. So, the honeymoon is over. Enjoy the last meal."

While Halt tried to think of a smart remark to counter his former apprentice, Will looked solemn. He'd known Gilan wouldn't be around Redmont forever. It was only a temporary assignment. But he wasn't ready for him to leave. They'd shared so much and become so close these last couple weeks, the thought of him leaving cast a gloom over this morning that had started out so happily. Gilan saw the boy's reaction and responded.

"I'm not far away, Will. We'll see each other. I'll make certain." He winked then finished his breakfast. "I don't have to leave until later though, so if you don't mind I'll take that ride with you. It'll give Blaze a chance to spend a little more time with his friends too. I know he'll miss the constant company."

Water shone in Will's eyes as he grinned and set his mind back to his meal.

~*~

As expected, the ordeal of saddling Tug proved difficult. Will tried to give up several times, but his resolve proved just as formidable. In the end though, he did have to ask for help. There wasn't enough strength in his arms to lift the heavy saddle high enough to land on Tug's back. Tug wasn't a tall horse, but Will was small for his age, and it made the task tougher in his present physical condition. Gilan took pity on him and helped to get the saddle over the hump.

"Thanks, Gil."

"I think Tug was tired of you whacking him with the saddle." Besting Will by almost a foot in height, Gilan smiled down at him, then patted the pony on the rump. Tug grunted. "Excuse me! Temperamental today, aren't we?" The small horse swished his tail into the Ranger's face.

Will laughed at the Gilan-Tug exchange. Never a moment passed that he didn't think about how glad he was to have Tug home and safe. Now to see him and one of his dearest friends bantering about in a human-to-equine way, just made him feel good. "He likes you, Gil. He would never admit it though."

"Could have fooled me. Can you tighten the girth?"

The boy nodded and pulled the strap taut. Gilan discreetly checked behind him when Will wasn't watching, to make sure the saddle was secure. Then, he gathered Blaze and led him out. Halt was already mounted up.

"It's about time," the grizzled Ranger remarked.

"No arm strength. He was trying though."

"Thanks for looking out for him, Gil. I know he's been grateful to have you around - we both have." Halt narrowed his eyes and blinked a grin at his first apprentice.

"Glad to be of help."

Tug dragged Will towards the pair before his master could get his foot in the stirrup. The boy was trying to hold the bridle and jog to keep pace.

Halt watched. "Problems, Will?"

"He's a little excited about going for a ride," Will remarked as Tug finally stopped moving. "I made the mistake of telling him where we were going before I got him tacked."

"Wouldn't have mattered even if you hadn't told him. He's feeling good and he's eager. Too eager. You'll have to work hard to keep him under control. He'll want to run. And you're not ready for that. If he pulls too hard, say the word and I'll get Abelard to settle him."

Will nodded, suddenly feeling worried. As much as he wanted to do this, and wanted to show he making considerable progress, if Tug got away from him, he was certain he would not be able to reel him back in.

Gilan stood behind him to leg him up and whispered, "Don't worry. We won't let him get away from you. You'll be okay." Then he lifted the boy into the saddle and held Tug's bridle while he got situated.

"I'm ready now. You can let go."

"You got it." Gilan then hopped up onto Blaze and the trio began a slow pace forward.

They rode a short ways when Halt slowed his horse to fall back to Tug's side so he could speak to Will. "Feel good to be on board?'

After a momentary sway in the saddle, the boy righted himself and replied in a somber voice. "I missed this. I never realized how much I would miss it until it was taken away."

"I know the feeling. You look good up there. But you're nervous."

"A little. He wants to run. I can feel him tugging on the bit. I can't hold him if he decides to go."

Halt shook his head. "You're fine. Just keep your focus."

The focus was kept until an hour into the ride when Will felt something was wrong. "Halt, I feel funny. I need to get down."

Immediately, the other two Rangers dismounted and stood on either side of Tug. Halt reached up and caught the boy as he slid off the saddle. They landed in a thump on the ground. "Will, what's wrong?" Halt sat him up and knelt in front of him.

"My head hurts. I think the bad thoughts are trying to come back again. I can feel their presence."

"The shadow of their presence. Those things can't hurt you, Will. It's only what they left behind. Take some deep breaths. Try to push it away. Think about Tug. Think about riding in the sun, just you and Tug. Think about his apple infatuation. Think about your friends. Think about how much you've learned in the last year. Focus on the good. Don't think about the Kayzar or what they did. I'm here. Gilan is here. Tug is here."

For about twenty minutes, Will fought with his mind and the fear that came with it. He thought about everything that Halt talked about, until the awful feelings began to fade. One breath after another, he concentrated. Each breath taking him further and further from his nightmare. Finally he sat with his eyes closed, arms wrapped around his knees almost completely calm. When he opened his eyes, his fellow Rangers were watching him carefully. He gave a small "hi", embarrassed to be the center of attention.

"Hi," Halt said back to him. "You okay?"

"I think so," Will dipped his head. I just feel a little dizzy now is all. Sorry."

"You did right, Will. You let us know something was off so you didn't get hurt. We'll walk back home."

The boy looked somewhat disappointed that he couldn't Tug again, but he understood and accepted the situation.

"Tomorrow is another day. We'll keep building your strength gradually. Won't be long before you and Tug are off galloping the hills."

~*~

Tbc…


	7. Chapter 7

They arrived home and Halt sent Gilan into the cottage with Will while he took care of the horses. The young apprentice was exhausted from the ride and events during. His weary body screamed for a respite. It would also give the two of them a few moments to say goodbye, as the tall Ranger would be heading for his own fief within the hour.

Will sat on his cot watching Gilan stir up a quick mug of warm tea, which he accepted gratefully. "You're leaving now, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Gilan released a deep breath. "Back to work tomorrow. I miss that old fief of mine. Though, I suppose it's survived without me."

"It'll be quiet around here without you and Blaze."

"The quiet will do you good. It'll let you center on getting yourself back. You know Halt will look after you. He has a hard time admitting some of those mushy things, but you know how much he cares about you. You're more of a son to him than apprentice."

The boy smiled. "I'm lucky then."

"Truly. I'll try and stop by in a week or so, just to say hi. And you - don't be a stranger. When you're strong enough, I expect a visit from you to my neck of the woods. Understand?"

"I can't wait."

Silence fell over the pair as they both avoided the actual saying of the word goodbye. But it needed to be said. Gilan got up and walked to Will. He knelt in front of him and put a hand on his knee. "Take care of yourself. Go slow. Don't be in a hurry to do everything right now. I'll see you soon."

Tears slid down the youngest Ranger's face as he leaned towards his friend and put his arms around him. The embrace was returned warmly. "Thanks for everything, Gil. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Will. Keep an eye on Halt and Abelard for me, okay?"

"Promise."

They released each other and Gilan touched the boy's face. "Bye, Will." And he walked out the door.

Will wiped his face and tried desperately to refocus himself by starting a fire and working to not think about his departing friend.

~*~

Gilan packed his saddle bags on Blaze and said a quick farewell to Tug and Abelard. Halt came around the front of the horse as he addressed his old apprentice. "Be careful on the way home. And I mean it, if you even think one of those damn Kayzar are anywhere nearby, don't even think about getting near them. Just get the hell away from there."

"I promise."

Halt then looked directly at bay horse in front of him - a firm hold on the bridle. "You too, Blaze. You sense those things, you run. Don't listen to your crazy master if he decides to investigate. Just run and take him with you."

Blaze tossed his head up and down in agreement.

"Halt, don't influence my horse. He's bad enough when he's around your two. All those bad habits, learning how to steal apples and con people into feeling sorry for him so they'll feed him. He's gained fifty pounds since he's been here."

"Don't listen to him, Blaze. Although…he is a good friend." Halt changed the light banter to the more serious matter of saying goodbye. He owed his former learner more than he could ever pay back. He stroked the pony's face as he continued addressing the horse, as it was easier then saying the words directly to Gilan. "I couldn't have done this on my own, Blaze. Will either. We're both grateful for his presence. Yours too, boy." The older man patted the pony's nose and only then looked at his fellow Ranger. So proud of what he had become.

Gilan took pity on the man. "You don't have to say anything else, Halt. Blaze is confused enough. I know what you mean to say. And you're welcome."

"You may know what I mean, but I need to say it. Too often I avoid these conversations. But you know me. Thank you, Gil, for everything. I know he's still on his way back, but he's come so far in such a short time, in big part thanks to you and your patience with the both of us. I'm fortunate in my friends."

The shorter Ranger reached out to the taller and pulled him into a snug embrace, appreciative of the younger's dedication to his old master, even years after he'd last been under his care. A couple of friendly pats on the back and they broke the hold.

"Take care of him, Halt. I mean it. He's a good kid and his complete trust is with you, you know that."

Halt nodded.

"Good. I better get home. No telling what's been going on in that place while I've been gone. I'll see you soon though."

Gilan legged himself up on Blaze and with a final look back, jogged off into the forest.

~*~

One week later Crowley thundered to a stop in front of the tiny Redmont cottage calling out for Halt. He was surprised when Will stepped outside to greet him. "Will! How are you?"

"Getting better every day."

"Good, good boy. I'm very glad to hear that. Where's Halt?"

"Chopping firewood a ways off. What's wrong?" Will could see that Crowley was worried about something. And there had to be a particular reason he was here, it surely wasn't just to visit and say hi, not as busy as Crowley was as Commandant of the Ranger Corp.

"I'll ride back and see him. Thanks, Will." He trotted off.

"But…Crowley!" Will shouted before hurrying off after him. When he caught up, he overheard them as he approached.

"Gilan has called for help. He's tracked the three Kayzar to the western border of his fief. And before you get all wound up and your trousers in a knit, don't worry. He's not challenging them. He's safe and keeping his distance. But he wants them out. We're sending a group after them."

Halt put the wood axe down and leaned on the handle. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted Will's approach and immediately detected the concern in the young face. "I can't go, Crowley. Will is doing well, but I'm not comfortable leaving him yet."

The sandy-haired Ranger leader rubbed his beard. He'd expected that Halt would decline but he had to try. The knowledge Halt had of the beasts and his renowned abilities as a bowman would be a great asset in their quest. Crowley pushed. "I figured as much which is why I spoke with Lady Pauline. She's offered to stay with Will while you are gone. We need you, Halt. _ Gilan_ needs you. We have to put an end to those things before they hurt anyone else. You of all people understand that."

"Crowley, please don't play Gilan's well-being against me or against Will. I know his feelings on our situation here. I'm disappointed that you would try such a thing." To be honest, Halt was slightly angry that his old friend had just played the well being of his apprentices against each other. It was uncalled for.

Still sitting on the sidelines, worried that Halt would soon be gone and chasing those evil beasts, Will spoke up nervously. "Halt, I can ride with you. Or I can stay here by myself. I'll be all right alone for a time. I've only had a few nightmares and problems in the last couple days. I'll be all right."

"No, Will. You need to stay here, and you cannot stay alone. I'm not comfortable with leaving Pauline to keep watch on you either. Trust her as I do, she's not been dealing directly with the situation. And I don't want you to lose what ground you've gained. And you're not ready to face those things again. I don't want you anywhere near them."

"But I can do this Halt. I can try at least. I'm getting stronger every day. You've said to yourself. I can help."

Crowley looked between them. Although the brave words came from the boy, he could see right through them. They were hollow. He was terrified at the thought of Halt leaving him to face off against those monsters that had tried to destroy him. He feared losing Halt. He feared losing Gilan. He feared losing himself. The Ranger Corp leader was seeing how truly young and fragile Will was right now. It was wrong to have come here and ask Halt to leave his charge when there were many other capable Rangers available and ready to depart. His error he saw on the anxious face of a sixteen-year-old boy and he called himself on it. "Halt, Will. I apologize for throwing this at you like I did. I haven't been living what you have, so I can't understand it completely. And you're right, Halt. Gilan would not expect you to come. He probably would be disappointed if you left Will to his own recovery to come chase monsters with him. I should get back. I've another couple Rangers to recruit for the job. I'll send a rider back with information for you when we know more about what's going on."

Halt bowed his head. "We would appreciate that, old friend. And Crowley?"

"Yes?"

"Keep an eye on Gilan for me."

"That I can do. I'll be in touch." He turned his horse around. "Goodbye, Will."

Will stood quietly watching horse and Ranger vanish into the forest when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, it's clouding up again. Probably rain. Gilan will be all right. He's not doing this alone."

The boy said nothing but the tension in him spoke volumes. Just the thought of those things hurting his friend or even another Ranger was upsetting enough, but it also brought back memories of what they'd done to him not more than a month ago. Halt sensed that and led him silently into the cottage and sat him at the table while he brewed a pot of coffee. He handed a cup of the steaming liquid to his apprentice. "It's easy to worry. Difficult to think that everything will be okay. Gilan is smart. He knows what those things are capable of. He'll have plenty of company too." When Will didn't reply, and instead kept a snug hold of his coffee mug, is when Halt figured they needed a distraction. Getting up, he dug a package out of the small closet and tossed it across the room. "Catch!"

Will did so at the last second, grabbing the brown paper with the tips of his fingers. "What is it?"

"Something you've been missing for a while."

Ripping the paper, his hands floated across the softness of a new Ranger cloak. Thinking of what the Kayzar did to his other one and the method in which they tore it from him and destroyed it, Will allowed a few fresh tears to fall. Hurriedly, he unwrapped the cloak and put it on, breathing in the feel and smell of the fabric.

Halt then motioned for him to stay put as he scooted outside and returned holding something behind his back. Bringing it around Will saw what it was and his eyes lit up. A newly made longbow. Freshly carved and strung. Made from Halt's own experienced hands. "I've been working on this since I found you. Progress was slow because of limited time I could devote, but I finished it yesterday. I think it's time we start you back on your task of training to be a fully fledged Ranger. And you'll need the cloak and longbow to complete that journey."

The bow was beautiful as Will ran his fingers over its surface. Smoothly curved, carefully crafted. So much like his old one, but so different. It felt good to hold it in his hands again. How he'd missed that oneness that was a Ranger and his bow. A Ranger's weapon. Everything about it was almost perfect.

Looking over at Halt, he put the bow down for a moment, crossed the several feet separating them, and hugged his mentor. "Thank you, Halt. It's beautiful."

Holding him away, Halt grinned but said nothing.

"Can I practice with it?"

"How else will we get you back to Halt standards, huh? Come on, I've got a new quiver of arrows with your name on it too."

~*~

Two weeks later, no news had come of the Ranger posse sent out after the Kayzar. No word from Crowley. No word about Gilan.

Will was out practicing with his longbow. He'd improved dramatically since he'd gotten back to it during the last fourteen days. There was definite room for improvement, but his knowledge and skills had not been lost when the Kayzar took from him. And it gave him the confidence to realize that he could indeed return to what he once was.

Three arrows he fired in succession. The first hit the target. The second bore to the right. The third chased a small sparrow out of her nest, one that then proceeded to turn on her attacker to demonstrate her displeasure. The boy laughed, and it felt so good to laugh, even at something so silly as a small angry bird. After a few seconds he realized that he wasn't laughing alone. Another voice joined in. Figuring it was Halt, Will paid it no mind until the laughter stopped.

"Interesting shot. Don't you know it's not nice to mess with Mother Nature? That's one ticked off little bird."

Will spun around, saw who the voice belonged to and shouted, "GIL!"

The tall Ranger leaped from his pony and accepted the small thud that was Will throwing himself into his arms.

"We were so worried about you. Crowley said he'd tell us what was going on, but we heard nothing. What happened? Are you okay? Did you get those things? Did anyone get hurt? Why didn't someone tell us what was happening?"

"Easy there, Will." He held him away. "Always with the multiple questions. Everything is fine. Those damn monsters are dead. They won't hurt anyone ever again."

The incredible relief that had lifted from Will's shoulders the second those words left Gilan's mouth was obvious from a mile away. There would no longer be that nagging fear that one day the Kayzar would return and hurt him again. That fear was abruptly vanquished with the news that Gilan brought.

Feeling suddenly embarrassed, the young learner rubbed at several surprise tears that tracked down his face.

Gilan patted him on the back. "I know it's been eating at you that they were still out there. No longer."

"Thank you, Gil."

"We did suffer one casualty however." He nodded at Halt who had just joined them from inside the cottage. "Mason's horse, Snap. He went out a hero, saving the lives of not only Mason but two others as well."

"Not Snapper. He was a good horse. Reminded me of Tug. I'm sorry for Mason. I think I can imagine what he feels after worrying so much about Tug's well being not long ago. But…I got Tug back." Will hung his head sadly, accepting Halt's arm around his shoulder.

The elder Ranger released him and offered his hand and then an embrace to his former student. So relievedto see him safe and alive. "How is Mason handling the loss?"

"Not well right now. It just happened yesterday when we finally cornered the Kayzar and eventually took them down. Snap got wind of one of them sneaking around from behind, none of us could hear or see it, or knew where it had gone. Honestly we thought we had killed that one already. By the time we saw it, it would have been too late had Snap not taken action and thrown himself at the beast. It was the bravest thing I've ever seen a horse do. Crowley has put Mason on a temporary reprieve from his fief to deal with what's happened. I suppose he'll visit with Old Bob and see about a new pony, but it'll be hard. Snap did us proud. He won't soon be forgotten." He fell silent in honor of the fallen Ranger pony, then moved on. "How are things here? Will, other than trying to slaughter poor defenseless birds, you look good. Put a little weight back on. You look healthier…stronger. How do you feel?"

"I feel good. I still get some bouts of confusion, but less and less all the time. Nightmares are few and far between. The healer has started weaning me from the sedative. Maybe I can get back to full duty soon. I'm trying to be patient, but…"

"Sitting around a tiny cottage with Halt watching your every move can be boring after a while, huh?" Halt pursed his lips at Gilan, which caused the younger a mischievous grin. "Oh, I've some good news. Remember those horses you started out to find?"

"Oh," Will didn't really want to remember the failed mission that had started this entire episode. Off on his first solo journey to retrieve several of Baron Arald's horses that had escaped, when he was attacked by the Kayzar. "Yes. I guess I forgot about them."

"Eh, don't worry. We found them. They'd fled together into higher elevation, found them fat and happy and munching on grass. They are safely home now. I believe Seran has been put in complete charge of entire Redmont stable. I doubt they will be escaping again anytime soon."

At the thought of Seran and his uncanny ability with horses, Will was pleased. The stable boy had been solely responsible for the delicate care of two Rangers horses in the past year, both suffering in some way, and he encouraged them back to health. There could be no finer person to be put in charge of the constant care of the Baron's impressive and rather large stable.

"So, what's for dinner?" Gilan asked as he walked his tall frame back towards Blaze to remove the saddle. "I didn't ride all this way just to say hello."

Halt sighed and scowled slightly. "I suspect you probably did. But since you are the only one in this trio with magic cooking hands, how about you cook?"

"Yes, I rode here to cook for you. That's what I did."

"Sarcasm is so very ugly on you, Gilan."

"I know," he replied as he laughed at his former mentor. "Well, if I'm not cooking and you're not cooking. Will?"

The boy shook his head. "Oh no, I'm not even going there. All the preparation and work, only to have the both of you critique my creation and then turn your noses up? I don't think so."

Halt mused for a minute, then came up with a suggestion that he knew Will might baulk at, but life couldn't return to normal until all aspects of the former life were back on track. "How about we ride to Castle Redmont for dinner? I'm sure Lady Pauline would fall all over herself to have us at her table this evening." He watched his student's reaction. First nervous. Deep breaths followed. Then an unsure nod. "Sooner or later, Will, you've got to see your friends. It's been enough time. I think if they ask, it's up to you what to tell them and how many details. My guess is that they'll understand if you'd rather not saymuch about what happened. But they've been concerned. It'll do you good to visit with them and – yes, Gilan – get away from me for a while."

More steadied breaths before Will agreed. "I do want see them. I've missed them all. And I suppose it might be good for me to talk about some of this."

An arm around his shoulder pulled him close for a moment. "I told you this experience would see your growth," Halt said approvingly. Then to Gilan, "Put the saddle back on Blaze. Let's head out." remark

Blaze grunted his disapproval.

~*~

The arrival of three Rangers at Castle Redmont was not going to be kept secret for long, and almost immediately after they were greeted by Pauline and sitting down to dinner, Will's friends entered the dining hall. Alyss had gotten the word out that Will had come, and somehow Jenny, George and Horace all managed to get out of whatever they were doing and to the dining hall. With a slight nudge and an approving look, Halt encouraged him forward to greet them. He'd never seen so many hugs with such a small group of people before. Will seemed to meld right into them and before long the five were cramped at a small table, hands flailing in gesture, voices raising then lowering in waves of enthusiasm. They seemed to pick up right where they left off the last time they were all together. Halt was glad. Will needed his non-Ranger friends. He needed to maintain those ties. And it was healthy for him to be with those his own age from time to time. It was healthy to get away from the job – or in this case, the recovery – and just spend time worrying about nothing in particular.

Gilan motioned to Halt. "You've done a good job getting him back. He looks happy and content for the first time in a long time."

"It was a difficult journey. I'm not sure how much he'll remember of it."

"But you'll remember," Pauline said, smiling gently at her grizzled friend. "And you'll want to overprotect him. Make sure to give him space, Halt. Don't be afraid to let him fail or even get himself into a bit of trouble. As Gilan would say, don't mother hen him to death. It's been a difficult journey for you as well."

Halt agreed, and knew he would struggle to do all those things. It would be natural to try and protect the boy, more now than ever before, but he did need to let him progress on his own. To fail. To succeed. Important final steps in the journey through recovery. Though he also realized Will would look to him in uncertain circumstances. There he would have to find the balance of allowing Will to move on his own while at the same time providing the encouragement he still needed.

Glancing at the table of friends, Halt saw Will turn towards him. They caught each other's eyes. Halt gave a single nod. Will beamed a grateful smile and turned back to his friends.

Gilan, who hadn't missed the gesture, placed a supportive hand on his former master's shoulder as he lightened the mood. "Eat your food before I do. This stuff is good! Oh and then we are going bribe Jenny into baking about twelve dozen more of those cream cake things. I'm taking those things home with me."

Both Pauline and Halt shook their heads at the always good natured Ranger. Halt turned his focus back to his food, but couldn't help stealing a sneaky glance at his apprentice every so often. Thankful to see him happy and in the company of those that cared about him.

Another positive step in the difficult journey to recovery.

A journey that would continue to strengthen and mold him into the Ranger that Halt knew he was destined to be.

The five young friends got up from the table, laughing towards the door. Will said something to them and hurried back to Halt's table. Leaning down, the apprentice wrapped his mentor in a spontaneous hug. "I'm glad we came here tonight, Halt. I missed them, but didn't appreciate how much." He released the older Ranger and wiped a stray tear away.

"The time is yours, Will. Enjoy it."

Will smiled. "I will, Halt – thanks to you - and Gilan." The smile continued as he hurried back towards his group, greeting them with more laughter.

Halt blinked rapidly to keep his own emotions contained. Then, taking a note from Will, turned back to his own small gathering of intimate friends to relax into and appreciate their companionship.

The past two months had tested his patience, his emotional mettle and his dedication to his apprentice like nothing before. And like Will, he was a stronger man for it. As he relaxed into conversation with Gilan and Pauline, he found that for the first time in a very long time, he too was content.

END

11


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